It's been 4 days since the surgery. I am finally today feeling a little better, more mobile, less pain. Although I still have a lot of pain. The cold we all now have sure doesn't help either.
The things I was most nervous about (getting sick before the surgery, being thirsty and anxious in the prep, waking up with the tube down my throat) seem so small now compared to the recovery. I really wasn't prepared for the pain of recovery. Everyone I spoke with about it said it was easy, not too bad, nothing compared to the pain of the attacks.
I didn't eat after midnight on Wednesday, and had barely any water, only tiny sips when my mouth was very dry or to take medication. I prayed for God's help in this area and He did help me. We got to the hospital right on time at 9:30 am. I was put in surgery triage right away. The first "nurse" that came in was an old Indian man who looked very questionable. He immediately gave me instructions to put on the purple gown, and purple socks. Very fashionable. They gave me my hair cover to wear during surgery and I began to feel anxiety. I was sick to my stomach, felt like gallbladder attacks even though I hadn't eaten anything. Maybe that and nerves mixed, but I kept having to use the bathroom.
Our pastor came and visit with us. Which semi distracted me. A nurse from prenatal came to hear the baby's heart beat. She couldn't find it. I was terrified. At 16 weeks pregnant you should not have any problems finding the heartbeat. She had to call in another nurse from prenatal to see if they could find it. Because this was how I found out we had lost our last baby, I always get anxious when we try to find the heart beat on the doppler. I had tears in my eyes already. The first nurse had looked for a good 10 minuets. Thank God, the next nurse found it almost right away. Feeewwww.
They gave me an IV which turned into a bloody mess everywhere. I've only had that happen once before, and it's not fun. It doesn't hurt, but seeing all the blood is scary! She got all that cleaned up, and we waited. Finally the surgeon came, 30 minuets late. The team all greeted me. I gave Davey a kiss goodbye and prayed. I was teary eyed. Praying and praying for the baby.
The surgery room was very scary. It's so bright and plain. Seeing everyone prepare and speak to me, giving me instructions, asking me questions, knowing in a few moments I would be asleep and my fate and the baby's fate was no longer in my control. They gave me a relaxer and right away felt drowsy. I had to make sure it wasn't the anastisia because I was still awake. They told me no, then put the mask on my face, and told me to take 5 deep breaths in. I knew this was it, I would wake up with no recollection of the last hour. I prayed those counts to for the baby, that God would keep it safe, and after 3....I was out.
I woke up an hour later. I know because I looked at the big clock when I fell asleep it was 12:13pm and 1:15pm when I came to my senses. I was being rolled out of the surgery room into a waiting area for my room. The first words I said were, "My baby!?". The nurse said someone was on the way to check the baby's heart beat. I was then hit with the very real, amount of nausia and pain. Oh the pain!! "I am going to throw up...it hurts so bad...I'm gonna be sick." She gave my a vomit bag, and some morphine. I also complained, "It's really hard to breath..it hurts. My boys? Where is my husband?" "He can see you once you are in your room, you have to wait." She said in a rude tone, like I was bothering her. This nurse lacked some serious compassion. I lay there in agony, struggling to breath, and she calls her boyfriend. Yes. Sitting right next to me, gabbing on the phone.
I didn't throw up, in which I am so thankful. But the pain was so sevier. Finally a nurse got there, and with out much trouble found the baby's heart beat. Thank you Jesus!! I was so relieved I think I had tears. I was soon rolled to my recovery room, which was in postpartum and was very pleasant. The pain from the gas they blew up my stomach with was so so excruciating. Never had I felt anything like that. I was so uncomfortable. The morphine didn't help the gas pains. It burned all the way up into my shoulders. Once I was in my room and sat up in the bed more it was a little better. Davey rubbed my shoulders and that helped, and soon I discovered ice packs would be my life saver. I had to have ice on my shoulders at all times, still have to at home when the pain comes.
I thought I would be ready to eat as soon as we got into our room. But I was still nausous. I requested Chinese Food anyways hoping I could eat it soon. Davey had bought me chocolates while I was in surgery as well. I couldn't eat anything. Nothing but ice water could I stomach. We had several visitors and they all brought me goodies to eat. I couldn't even think about trying to eat them. Davey had a fun time with making sure they weren't in the way. Because I was in so much pain Davey decided to spend the night. Right about then we got a call that Jesse and Savannah, my brother and sister in law who our boys were with got locked out of our house. Davey had to go the 40 minuets home to let them in. While he was gone our Pastor came back this time with his wife, and the youth pastor and his wife, all friends of ours. They brought me a Starbucks Carmel Frap and I wanted to drink it so bad but I couldn't. They were making me laugh so much from giving advice on how to pass gas....and it was hurting me so bad!!! Josh the youth pastor was writing on the nurses board instructions for reliving my gas pains. Then they said, "Davey is a good husband" and I randomly said, "Yeah he is being really sweet today... this is SO out of his character." They all bust up laughing and said, "ohhhh Davey is busted!!" I was on drugs and loopy okay?!! I laughed and said, "No no!! I mean, he's not usually so caring...he's more of a 'tough it out, it's all in your head' kinda guy." They laughed. I laughed, and it hurt so bad.
I tried to walk around, because they say that helps the gas move out, but it hurt so bad. All I could do was lay in my bed with ice all over me. I didn't eat until the next late morning. I was concerned about the baby. It had been about 36-38 hours since I ate or drank anything with calories. Luckily it had the fat off my hips to feed off. The next morning I finally was able to hold down an egg and apple juice.
Once the surgeon came in and checked on me I was able to leave the hospital. But I didn't want to leave. I still felt in a lot of pain, and worried I wouldn't have the help at home. Yes even though Davey would be "home" I knew once we left the hospital he would be getting calls about the ranch guys, and sure enough he did and had to step out of the house several times. I am glad Jesse and Savannah were there to watch the boys. But still I wished I was in the hospital with a nurse and IV pain meds. Not being able to hug my boys was so hard. They didn't really understand that they couldn't hug my stomach. I have four incisions on my abdomen. One in my belly button, one at the top of my stomach and two on my right rib where my gallbladder was.
The last few days were filled with pain and uncomfort. Getting out of bed was such a daunting task. My whole abdomen hurt. My shoulders burned, and I couldn't lay down flat. I have to sleep in a semi-sitting position. I still had a hard time breathing from all the gas in my stomach. When I attempt to lay on my side my shoulders burn and it feels like my liver is detached from something and moves around. I now have a terrible pain in my neck and a non stop headache from being in bed so much. Every time I rest my head, I have immediate pain. Could be gas pressure from my shoulder into my neck as well.
I have been walking laps around my kitchen and making an effort to get up and move around. Today is the best day so far. I have been somewhat frustrated from how slow the recovery is. For some reason I thought I would be going to church yesterday. Nope, no where close to that. Davey is back at work tomorrow and I am nervous. But I feel confident Savannah and I will be able to handle the boys.
I am happy to report, since the surgery I have not had any pain like the gallbladder attacks. I have eaten tuna with mayo, peanut butter and jelly, brownies, ice cream and other dishes people have brought us. All with success. Yay!!! Can't wait to be totally healed and ready to get back my life. I honestly, never ever want surgery again!!! This was the hardest thing I have ever gone through physically. I am so proud of our baby for being so strong and thankful to God for answering our prayers. Now I pray he/she will be okay from all the pain meds, which I hope to be off very soon.
Thank you all for your prayers and support. xoxo
Love, The Curvy Housewife