Last Thursday (last time I stepped on the scale) I was 165.3!!! Whoa. That's just about 80 lb loss! I have NOT been trying these last 10 lbs.
I am so glad to have kicked that stomach bug finally (only took 9 days!!). Two more weeks until I'm in the 2nd trimester. I can't wait to not be so tired, nauseous, depressed (yes my hormones are mad wacky), weepy, and I'm ready to have an appetite again!
Right now I absolutely don't want anything to eat besides the few things I crave. I can't even look at a plate of food that isn't what I want! LOL
There are only a few things I have been craving that I can eat, a turkey sandwich on gluten free bread, with mayo, lettuce, and tomatoes, and Honey Chex gluten free cereal. Everything else I crave has gluten...:( which makes me VERY depressed. I want the stupidest things: donuts, brownies, Jack in the Box Tacos, ravioli, and......my biggest craving.....WALNUT SHRIMP!!!! Oh yum. But so sad.
I am seriously considering reintroducing gluten back into my diet. It's soooo frustrating to have to always make sure nothing has gluten, and the price of a loaf of bread is $5!! I mean....it's so inconvenient. Saturday morning I got sick with "gluten pain" and I couldn't think for the life of me what I ate. Then I remembered that two days before I ate 1 bar of a Kit Kat. I went and looked at the package...WHEAT FLOUR! Ugh! One dumb little bar. Then a crazy thought, what if I keep eating just a little bit at a time and see if the pain will subside after a time? But do I really want to eat something that will hurt my body again?
Last night we went to the gym of our church for a fellowship time and I thought* I got everything gluten free...then I found out pudding has flour in it. Yikes! I skipped all the brownies and cookies and the dumb pudding got me! I was a little mad so I ate a little piece of sugar cookie...gulp...so far today I've been ok, but pain could come tomorrow....prayerfully not. We will see.
Reece is finally taking a bottle of vit D milk!!! yay! even though he may be old for a bottle...I am just glad he is nursing a lot less. And soon he will be totally weaned. We are still working on him sleeping through the night.
You know what....I don't know if it's the pregnancy or what but lately I just want to abandon all the things I'm interested and passionate about. I'm not enjoying my photography that much, I haven't touched any of the books I've boughten on health and nutrition, and I am wavering in my faith of "clean eating" and "natural health". Sounds like depression doesn't it?
Well I try SO hard to keep us all healthy, eat less processed foods, eat organic, ect ect, and we still got the evil death virus, and then we all got a cold after. I'm a little bitter about it all. I KNOW processed foods are bad. I KNOW nutrition matters. I KNOW gluten is bad for me. But it's not motivating me...does this make sense? I look at my friends that cook delicious foods full of not so good stuff, and brownies for desert and I think, "Why can't I just do that? Why do I have to have health issues with bad food and they don't?" Truth is a lot of them do, and people struggle with their own demons, but I just want to NOT WORRY ABOUT IT for a little while.....sigh. My husband is acting like I'm an alcoholic that wants to start drinking again! I bought hot dogs and chips and he was like, "what's going on here? Don't quit!" LOL
I don't want to quit and eat a bunch of crud, I just want to not have to stress about it so much....for a time...
I am reaping great things!!! I mean, my friends see me and say, "whoa!". My sister in law who hadn't seen me since Christmas came over last week and she said, "Oh my gosh! Adrienne! you look anorexic!" LOL um thank you?
DID I MENTION that I healed a cavity too!? Yes! I was using a dental scrapper a couple weeks ago and the decay of one of my tooth with a good size cavity scrapped right out!!! I'm not lying! All clean smooth white tooth under it. I still have some big ones I am working on. More about that soon.
So I know clean eating, healthy living really does reap great things. But right now I just want to stay in my PJ's, watch a girl movie, and eat a box of donuts. Mkay?