I really thought I would be able to resist myself from weighing before tomorrow. Tuesday I weighed myself in hopes for a good number to motivate me to keep going. That never really works out to good because I am hoping that I am down so I will stay on the wagon, and then at the same time I hope it's bad so I can go stuff my face. Well, I was down half a pound. I am pretty sure I know why too. Stress. I never really believed that stress can make you gain or retain weight, but I can feel it, and the scale proved it.
Since getting home my main priority has been to get the house in order. I know I can still work out and do that, but man, our schedules have been so off! We were stuck on Hawaii time, so we all went to bed at the earliest of 12am, Davey and I more like 2am. Then we would walk up at like 10:30am, and I would worry about getting everything done, while stressing that I wasn't going to have time for the gym. Davey has been really busy with end of the school year projects, graduation details, a little work here and there, and phone calls to people regarding ministry. So I have not been able to depended on him watching the boys while I go to the gym. It's been killing me! Triathlon is in 9 days and I haven't worked out since Saturday!! Ugh! I have been stressed and depressed that I was so unorganized and the house was a disaster. I felt like time was flying and nothing was getting done. I probably felt that way because I wasn't working out.
I was anxious everyday to get to the gym, but Davey would say, "Hey babe I need my whites washed." Then I need my shirt ironed for tomorrow". Then, Can you help me print my paper? Where is lunch, dinner? ect." I am HIS help-meet, and he HATES an unorganized house. So I felt like I had to stay home and work on the house and be there for him... I am just about done with the house. I re-arranged, re-decorated, organized and cleaned, did laundry, unpacked, made meals, mailed thank yous, made and mailed Davey's graduation announcements, took care of the boys, made phone calls, ran errands, bought things for the house... took them back after Davey got made at me for buying them..., planted a garden, pulled weeds, took care of a sick baby, and went to church. That is pretty much every wife/mom's schedule. Now I just have to iron, dust, mop, clean the bathroom and do the dishes. Then it all starts over! I won't be as busy though. I AM going to Spin tonight! I can't wait to feel the rush I get from it.... from pushing beyond pain.
Yesterday was my sister-in-law's 21st birthday. We wanted to bring her and her friends a cake and milk, but instead I bought cupcakes and milk. It was just easier not to have to buy forks and plate too. Only three of them came and I had 20 cupcakes... so we ended up taking home 7 of them. Six of those are mini cupcakes though, you know bite size. I don't know why, I wasn't even hungry, but I ate 4 of them this morning! UgH!!!! Weigh in tomorrow!? Spin today at 5:30! What was I thinking!?
I got up early and did my devotions before the boys woke up. So nice. Then I made everyone breakfast. Scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, toast, and fresh pineapple. Egg whites for me. Then I had to go blow it.... so now it isn't even lunch time yet and I have already consumed about 900 calories. OMW! I only have 600 left for the day.
In a book I am reading by Chantel Hobbs, "Never Say Diet", she says, when you blow it, think of it as backing out of the garage and hitting your mail box on accident. Get out, evaluate the damage, then move on. You don't keep running it over, again and again because you did it once. That helped me a lot because you know me, "Oh well, I ate 4 mini cupcakes, might as well eat everything else in sight!" I am growing. =)
I probably have more ups and downs than anyone else ever trying to lose weight. But I won't quit. I think I am having more ups than downs, and I thank God for it. When I don't do to well it is usually because I forgot to pray and ask Him for help.
I am now 3 pounds away from hitting -40! and a few more pounds away from being under 200!! Yay yay yay I can't wait to see it on the scale.. I will take a picture and post it!!