Thursday, April 15, 2010
Home sweet home
I have so much to write. I missed you all. I missed the gym, and I missed my calorie counting journal. I really missed my Thursday Spin class, and I missed home. Home sweet home.
"Home is where the heart is" is what many wall hangings and pillows say. I really believe this is true. Where is your heart though? My heart is for God, and for my family. Where ever my family is that is my home...This "home" is only temporary though because we are just passing through. Our real home is in heaven with God our Father. That is a comforting thought!!
Hawaii was great. Where do I start. The flight there was pretty good. 5 1/2 hours on a plane with a 2 year old and an almost 1 year old is not that fun, but the boys did exceptionally well. I brought my laptop and they watched movies. Cody nursed and slept a lot of the flight too.
The Pastor and Youth Pastor met us at the airport with real leis. That was awesome. From that moment we were busy. We headed to McDonald's for lunch, then to see the church, then Davey and the Pastor talked for a couple hours while I tried to get the boys to sleep in the nursery. Didn't happen. At LAX and the whole flight there whenever I would walk my slip would literally fall off me. So on the plane I took it off. Bad idea. The humidity hit when we landed and my dress clung to me and my legs started to sweat. I kept thinking what a horrible first impression, fat sweaty lady with a dress clinging to her rear. Finally I cooled off and was able to freshen the boys up, but my bag was still in the car and I didn't have time to change between dinner at the Pastor's and church that night. I felt stinky and sticky and really wanted to shower before church but didn't have time.
Davey preached an awesome message on God's holiness that night. The church family was great, they all knew our names and were so glad we were there. We stayed with such a sweet family. There home was 6,000 sq ft. Whoa. 3 stories, our room was on the top level. Lots of stairs. Good for the rear though :) We had a place to go everyday. The only free time we had was Thursday to recover from jet lag, which we did at the beach. It was a man-made lagoon so there was no waves, the boys could play and it was safe.
That night we had dinner at Panda, then we went visiting people who had visited the church. I went with a lady named Rachel, a teacher. We went to Pearl Harbor to a young lady's house whose husband is in the Navy. He was out to sea at that time, and she invited us in. She is hurting a lot right now. She is in the middle of a bad divorce, and just mis-carried twins. Her husband drinks a lot and that is one reason they are getting a divorce. She said her husband came home from being at sea and said, "This isn't working, you are too fat to have sex with and I want a divorce!". Can you believe that?!!! I almost cried. I shared with her that even though she feels so hopeless, there is hope, and it is with Jesus. He makes all things possible and through Him her marriage and life could be saved. I really saw myself in her if God hadn't changed my life. I thank God for Him and His goodness!! For saving me and changing me and my husband. I am thankful my husband won't leave me for gaining weight.
Friday my husband worked at the church all day and the boys and I drove around, went to Safeway to see how expensive groceries are there, and hung out at the house we stayed at.
That night we had the Singles bible study. Davey preached and then we had fellowship.
Saturday the Singles took us to the Dole Plantation, where we did the maze (a maze in a pineapple field). We split into two teams and raced. All the girls in the singles class are thin, athletic, and competitive. ALL the guys are in the military. So my immediate thought was, "Oh no, running with Davey and military guys will not be easy! I won't be able to keep up!". Well I did, and I could have kept going. It was a good work out. It took us 26 minuets, and we beat the other team.
Being that the group we would be leading are mostly military young men was intimidating. I just imagined what they thought of me. "Why is he married to a fat lady? I don't want to be in the ministry, I don't want a fat wife..." ect. But surprisingly, they were very nice and receptive to me. The girls were nice too, especially the oldest daughter of the family we stayed with. I did not see strife among the group of girls, which is rare when ever you have more than a few girls that are together. There was a certain someone that made me a little uncomfortable. They would say little comments about the food we were eating or the portions the restaurants gave and the comments seemed directed towards me... Actually I know they were... but that's fine. I did not feel the need to go into my life story of my battle with weight and how far I've come this far to someone that I don't really know or doesn't know what it's like to have issues with weight. And I am pretty sure I could out swim or out bike them... hey I am a little competitive after all! ;-)
After the Dole Plantation ( where we had the most amazing pineapple ice cream! just FYI) we went to eat lunch, and then to the beach where the set of LOST is. That is where Davey gave a bible challenge. It was beautiful. I loved the tender hearts of the singles. By that time the boys had been with a sitter for about 8 hours so we rushed home, then got ready and headed back to a sinlges BBQ. I was starting not to feel to well, so I barley ate. The guy whose house it was at is a single Chaplin in the military and I noticed in his spare bedroom he had two cycle bikes (ones you ride on the street). I asked him if he rides and he said yes and he said he is training a girl for a triathlon. I was like, "Wow!! I am doing my first on May 1!!" He seemed surprised. I asked him to give me some advice and he said, "You have to count your calories and watch your diet." I said, "I do". He said, "How many calories do you eat?" I said "1,600, but I am still nursing." and he seemed pretty concerned that I would not be prepared for the tri.. but that's ok. Looking at me, no one would think that right now I can do an intense Spin class then go do 2 miles on the treadmill. I know that is not that much for some people, but for MOST people it is a lot.
Another Navy guy is training to be in Search and Rescue. He told me all about how he is training and swimming everyday and how he is not that great a swimmer. He said he has to be able to swim a certain amount in a certain time to pass. I told him I swim and I am training for a mini tri and of course he was a little surprised. I told him I swim 1/4 mile and my best time was 10 minuets. He was impressed and then told me he has to swim 400 meters in 10 minuets to pass the test. I said, "400 meters is 1/4 mile!!" I was sooo excited that I could swim a 1/4 mile faster than a Navy seal. Whoa. :) By the regulations of the U.S Navy.. I could be Search and Rescue! Well probably not... there is a lot of things I would not pass, I am sure!
That night I was really nauseated. Shane threw up in the middle of the night, and Cody a little in the morning. I did not, thank God, but I did not eat much for a couple days. The rest of the trip was busy too with church and fellowship with people. I was homesick and anxious in my spirit about whether or not this is God's will for us. The people were great, and the church was great, and the place was great, but for some reason I did not have complete peace. I can not trust my feelings though, because I just could be homesick. Davey felt at home there while I did not as much. We are diligently praying about it and asking God to show us. I want His will above all else. "Not my will, but Thine be done."
The day we left we had a couple hours to go to the "Punchbowl" to see my great grandfather, Harold P. Little's grave. He was a Brigadier General and died in Oahu. It was amazing and so touching.
Wednesday morning when I got home I stepped on the scale, and I was shocked... literally my jaw dropped. -7 pounds!! What?! Is this right?!! I didn't even throw up!! I stepped on again, same thing. Wahooo!! I was just hoping to maintain!! I did swim there in the lagoon and walked a little, but the first few days I ate pretty bad, so I was expecting a gain, hoping to have maintained.
And oh yeah... the day after Cody turned 11 months old, on Saturday while we were in Hawaii... I started my period!! Ugh!! I have not had it in about 3 years from being pregnant and nursing to pregnant and nursing. I thought I would be up on the scale from that too but I wasn't.
We have been busy since we got home. We have been praying and getting counsel on whether this is God's will for us. It is exciting and scary. Who doesn't want to live in Hawaii!? But if it is not where God wants then I don't want to go. For me as the women, I know I will struggle with "Island Fever". I was homesick and we were only there 6 days, and Davey will hardly be home between work and the ministry..... but not my will, God's will. We will be so happy right in the center of His will and I know it. I have not made it back to the gym yet, but I am anxious!! The tri is coming up real quick in about 2 weeks and I have major training to do!! Wish me luck!