Men are so lucky. They don't have to deal with hormones. Mine have been going crazy. One day I'm okay, then next (today) a mess. I still feel very homesick, and out of my element. I can't just get up and go to the gym or to town to walk (because it's 40 mins away). Today I have no energy at all. Can't even get dressed. Cody needs a diaper change, I need to clean up their room, do laundry, make my bed, clean the bathrooms, unload the dishwasher, make us lunch, put away laundry, and more. Making that list just made me so tired. I loved Totally the Turtle's post today. I think we are sisters.
I hate the way the first trimester makes me feel. I have nausea, constipation, fatigue, extreme thirst, excessive peeing, I smell everything, which then makes me sick, and oh, did I mention fatigue? I could honestly right now, lie my head down and be out cold. Even though I slept for 10 hours last night. yes. I did.
The fact that my house is a mess is making me more emotional. I miss California, I miss the beach, I miss my family, I miss my mom, I miss my church in Lancaster, I miss my friends, I miss my gym, I miss my schedule.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? This is an adventure. Right?? How many people ever move across the country whether it be for two years or ten? Who knows how long we will be here. I have to remind myself over and over, this is a blessing! Not only serving God here, but to expirience living in a different culture. (Really, southern living is a different culture from California living). I always thought, "I never want to stay in one place my whole life, I want to live in different places before we find where we want to live forever!" But now that we are in here, and doing that...all I want is to be here, or there. I don't know how many times I thought, "If only the boys ranch was in Oceanside Ca." You know what that is called....DISCONTENTMENT.
I know I would feel that way where ever we moved. Always wanting something I don't have. Isn't that how we are? It's a SIN issue. It really is. Paul said, "I have found that whatever state I am in there with to be content." and I know Paul had it really hard. I really think that these pregnancy hormones are making me even more depressed than just being homesick. I mean, move 2500 miles, new busy job for the hubs, lots of responsibility, unpacking, pregnant, morning sick, tornado, ect... yup it's a lot all at once.
Okay well, sorry for my whiny post. I desperatly need to pray and read my bible right now. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day.
Love, The Curvy Housewife