Monday, January 31, 2011


I overate this weekend, and with food I didn't even really care to eat. I'm not sure why. Saturday I just wanted to have brownies. I was okay with that. I needed a day to not count and measure and log...just a small break. But I didn't intend to eat a lot or binge, which I didn't. But yesterday, that's another story. I should have gotten right back on track but for some reason I didn't. I ate foods that were fatty but I didn't even like them, like a hot dog. I had a lot of
B U T T E R. [which I do like] Butter on toast, butter on baked potato, butter on a bagel, butter on my pancakes, and lots of it. Butter butter butter.

I am angry at myself, and frustrated that I still have these crazy days when I eat even when I don't want to. It shows me that I am not ready to leave the ranch.... [Sorry, I watch to much Biggest Loser.] I mean, leave my net of safety and allow myself free days. I ovbiously can not control myself on a free day, which turns into a free weekend. Which makes getting back on track on Monday very hard.

I so desperately want to be one of those people that loses 100 pounds in a year just by being consistent with eating. Obviously I am NOT one of those people. I do envy those people, but it's just not gonna happen for me. I've lost 5 pounds this month, and am disappointed I didn't lose the 8 I had a goal for. I suppose I should be happy about the 5 I lost, and I am, but I really want to be done and at goal so we can have another baby. That's my main motivation.

I've been tossing around the idea of just getting pregnant now, or next month. Some friends have reminded me that there will always be other races to do. But more than the races, I want to have my weight under control when I have another baby. I am almost to my pre-pregnancy weight with Shane and that scares me. I gained 66 pounds with him in 9 months, and I know it could happen again. Then I would literally be at square 1 again.

I need God's help. I need to pray every day for His help. It's easy to forget to do. I just need to tell Him, "Lord, I love you. I really need your help today. I really don't want to work out and count my calories. I want to eat chocolate and Strawberry Twizzlers. I want to stay home today instead of going to the gym. Would you please help me? Please give me the strength and the desire to do what I need to do to lose this weight. Thank you God. In Jesus name, amen."

Shane has been very sick. Last night his fever spiked three times and he woke up screaming and shaking. I was so terrified. He's doing a little better today, he's awake and playing with blocks, but still doesn't feel good.

We were suppose to go to Couples Retreat with our church this Friday night, but couldn't find anyone to watch our boys. We decided to get our money back and take the boys to Disneyland Saturday and Sunday. I needed to go to Huntington Beach on Saturday to pick up my race packet anyway, they don't let you get it race morning. I was hoping to find a cheap hotel next to the race, but everything that was walking distance to the race was sold out [and too expensive]. I did find a hotel right next to Disneyland for $45! Score! Shane's 3rd birthday is the day of the race, and I wanted more than anything to take him to Disneyland.

I remember my 3rd birthday. Pee Wee Herman came to my house for my birthday party. I still remember someone rang the doorbell and my parents told me to get the door. I ran over and opened the door, and there stood my favorite childhood legend. Pee Wee Herman [an impersonator, the real Herman was busy that day]. I started at him in shock. I was actually scared. Once the fear went away I was so happy and excited. He danced in our backyard on our short brick wall that surrounded flowers. It's my earliest memory and I wanted Shane's 3rd birthday to be so memorable.

Shane loves Mickey.

I went for a run yesterday, I wanted to run 5 miles, but it started pouring. I ended up running 3.03. It was a fantastic run. I felt so good and comfortable.

Now I have to figure out how to eat the day before the 1/2 marathon and the morning of. Not being home will be tricky.
What do you eat before a race??

Love, The Curvy Housewife


librarianone said...

I am learning from you and others that we all lose weight differently and have days we are off track, plus you've had a lot of stress according to your posts. I was just thinking I need to pray more regarding my own weight loss and your prayer touched me heart, as being so familiar to my own. Thanks for posting that. I love your blog!

Adrienne said...

Awe thank you! And thanks for the comment ;)

Weightless said...

This morning, I was thinking of writting a blog about butter. Then I came online and read your's, funny, true story.

We all need prayer and guidance to assist us with life. Babies are blessings but huge responsibilities, you already know that ;-). No matter what you decide you can still do things to ensure a healthy pregnancy and healthy lifestyle. The races help me stay focused but they aren't the only factor in to your (or my)weight loss and healthy lifestyle. There will always be more races - and there will always be time to try for a baby.

Rich, and the girls want us to start trying after Amelia turns 4 in April. Possibly concieving at the end of summer/early fall. In my head, I'd like them 5 years apart but I don't know if I am really ready for another child, for many reasons.

Adrienne said...

That's all very true, and funny about the butter post! lol I hope you do have a baby same time we do :)

Christi said...

I hope your son feels better real soon!

Strobels said...

Before a huge soccer tournament, or track meet I was always instructed to eat pancakes, (whole or buck wheat without butter or syrup) and some fruit that isnt acidic. The night before eat a baked potato. That should give you enough energy to keep going, and they arent unhealthy choices. Make sure you drink enough water but dont over due it.

Adrienne said...

That's good advice, thanks Vanessa!