Tuesday, July 1, 2014

I weighed myself.

I weighed myself.
A few times actually. 

My last post I wrote about how sick I got Wednesday night and ended up in the ER.  I weighed Thursday morning and I was 210.  Then again on Friday and I was 208, and today I was 202.8!!!! Let me explain why.

The whole month of no dieting I only lost 1 pound.  I am and forever will be against dieting from now on because of what it does to one's mind, and it's a vicious cycle. 

Irony.  Because right now I have to be on the strictest diet EVER to get better.  It seems as though IBS has flared it's ugly face.  But maybe it is some kind of bug or virus as well that irritated my IBS.
I went to the ER twice in the last 6 days.  I've had horrible pain everyday.  Today was much better.  Minimal pain for a short time. 

The pain is in the very lower abdomen and like I said before it's worse than labor.  So that's why it's alarming.  Our insurance also hasn't been accepted yet, so I was really stressed about that.  Yesterday after more pain my husband and I went to the insurance office and GOT IT SETTLED.  After that we went to the ER again and thank God saw a different dr.  He ordered a CT scan (scary) and more blood work.  Everything looked good except there are tiny little swollen lymph nodes on my intestines that means my body is trying to fight an infection/virus or inflammation.  Hm.  I do believe my gut is inflamed, as is the case with IBS.  But hopefully it is a bug or virus that is making it worse than normal and not I'm just getting worse.

I am not losing weight because its all going right through me or because I'm not eating. I've been dropping weight because I'm eating very low carb.  After a lot of research I have decided to limit certain carbs.  I have eliminated a lot of foods that feed bacteria in the gut.  Hopefully this will just be for a couple weeks and I will be able to re-introduce some things back in. 

When not in pain, I have actually been feeling really good.  It's been 6 days no sugar or grains! And 4 no dairy. 

Also after some research I am sadly going to have to put a hold on half marathon training.  It totally makes sense once you really think about it, that too much intense carido or work outs at all can cause stress on your body.  And for someone with inflammation already it could trigger these flare ups.  So for now I will be WALKING  a lot, swimming, doing Yoga and lifting weights.  I'm ok with that.  My overall health is more important than running. 

Not dieting is a state of mind.  I can say, I am eating low-carb, and then totally binge a day later, and yo-yo back and forth.  But when I think of it as for my heath and how I will FEEL after I eat and not weight loss only, then I don't feel like it's a diet. 

I mean, it is hard. We were at a friends house lats night and everyone was eating pizza.  I could've had a piece.  It smelled really good. No one was telling me not to.  But I knew if I ate it I would really regret it by how I felt from it. So I didn't. 

Let's just all face it.  Food is so tricky.  You have to eat.  It has the power to heal you or to kill you.  Obesity kills people.  I don't want to be one of those sad stories.  Because clearly, my body is telling me something. 

I have been kinda depressed about it all.  But I can CHOOSE to look at the bright side.  The bight side is I am losing weight fast (I have a lot to lose), that I feel better, that I am helping my body and not harming it, and that I look forward to walking and swimming for health and to de-stress. 

I decided I am going to log all my miles and see how many I can walk for the rest of the year (l read walking is actually THE BEST way to lose fat, that and heavy weight lifting, not running and pushing your body to a max, which raises cortisol levels and causes the opposite to happen--read The Paleo Coach) .  I'm shifting my goals.  With out the stress :)

I'm sorry my journey is always changing.  But it is MY journey, and I have to do what I have to do. I hope everyone has what works for them.  And there are many different obstacles on any one persons journey, and we shouldn't feel bad about it. 
xo

2 comments:

The Skinny on Staci said...

I hate so much that you always have these stomach issues that seem to go unanswered. That is super frustrating! I know it had to feel good to see that low # on the scale, but I know you wish you could've achieved it in a different way. I hope you get the answers you need soon!!!!

Kimberlynn @ mindingmyway.blogspot.com said...

I think it's wonderful that your journey is changing because that means your getting closer to what works for YOU!!! I'm proud of you and think you're doing a great job...kudos!!!