Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Weigh In & Measurments

This Week: 202.7!! 
Wow, this weekend went by super fast!!! It's already Tuesday! So Saturday I woke up late for my WW meeting, and couldn't go because my husband had to be at Men's Prayer at 8:00am.  I decided to just weigh in at home and add a pound to whatever my scale said since WW scale is consistently 1 pound more than my home scale.  I was super excited when I saw 201.7!!! Wow!! What a great week I had! Finally my body decided to let go of some weight! I was pumped. Then....the long weekend happened. 
Oh boy. I don't know why, but I just ate too much! I grabbed a candy bar for each of us while at the store, at too much of whatever we were eating. Really all for no reason. Then yesterday we went on a hike and of course brought snacks and food, and we celebrated memorial day with smoked sausages. I did do Smart Sausages for myself though. Yesterday we went for a short run at the park, where our boys and dog played. Than we headed to Devil's Punch Bowl to hike.  I ran 1 mile yesterday in 13:44! I was super happy with that.  Burned 151 calories on that run.  On our hike my sweet {enter sarcastic tone} husband decided we needed to go off the trail and go explore. Well of course my boys wanted to do that, and I wasn't about to finish the hike alone! So I kicked and moaned the whole time we were off the trail. Nice company I am, I know. ;) It was a lot of fun and we made great memories. I burned 888 calories!! Whoot! That's worth it to me! :) I also lost another inch off my stomach too for a total of 4.5 inches off my stomach in 2 months 1 week. Yay! AND.....4 days until our half marathon!!!!! EEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! I am nervous and excited and anxious!!! Now I have to figure out how to get some good burns in this week to burn off all I ate this weekend with out using my legs....my legs are on REST! Lucky for me my husband found a punching bag at a garage sale for extremely cheap...I'm talking CHEAP. what a blessing! Ok, gotta go...my boys are doing all sorts of things they shouldn't be doing!
Hope you all had a great memorial day!! 
Love, The Curvy Housewife

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Measurments

I've been measuring myself every Tuesday for the few weeks, and measured myself March 21 for the "start" measurements.

Last weeks inches lost:

1/2 inch off my hips
1 inch off my stomach
1/2 inch off my waist
1/2 inch off my thigh

Inches lost since 3/21/12:

2.5 inches off my hips
3.5 inches off my stomach
1 inch off my arm
1.5 inches off my waist
1/2 inch off my thigh
1/2 inch off my calf

Total= 9.5 inches gone!

whoo hoo!!

I am a little distracted today.  A 15 year old girl from my home town of Morgan Hill Ca went missing two months ago just about a mile from my inlaws house. Read the article here.  The man they believe kidnapped her was arrested the other night.  Also finding out he is linked to 3 other attacks on women in Morgan Hill, one of which he rapped a women while she was out jogging.   They are charging him with murder, her body has not yet been found.  A blog post is coming on this, and how to keep our kids safe, aware, and able to defend them selves.  For now, please, please please, go teach your kids to NEVER GET in a car, ever. If someone has a gun to you, you fight, kick, scream, run!!! Even if he shots you, better right there than after he does what he wants with you. You know? Ok, sorry for the morbid talk. But it's very personal right now. I went to school with the attackers older sister since middle school.

Love, The Curvy Housewife 




Sunday, May 20, 2012

Done.

The 10 miles that is! I ran 10 miles yesterday at the beach! I started around the 22 mile marker (didn't get a pic :/ & ran to Nike 17 (beginning of Venice beach) & back). It took me about 2.5 hours, including a few potty breaks.
I always get asked how I can run for so long...here are some things I've learned.

-Your body can do much more than you think it can.

-Whether you are running 3 miles or 13
miles, the first mile is always the hardest.

-If you stop, it hurts & it's hard to get going again.

-Eat clean, healthy carbs for fuel.

-You can suddenly throw up with out feeling nausea first. ;)

-For me, Gu & any other gooie fuel upsets my stomach. Gatorade too :(

-To avoid runners tummy, don't stop abruptly, cool down, if it starts to hurt jog slow. (this really helped me yesterday).

-Don't worry about the time!! I LOVE free running.

-Listen to a podcast you enjoy if it's a boring course.

I really enjoyed the run. I was so distracted by the people I saw and the beautiful scenery.

I had to nurse Reece a few times before we even got running. Then I gave him his very first solids, a banana in a munchkin net thing, he sucked on it until he fell asleep. It was wonderful =)

The hubby ran 13.1 miles!! While pushing the double jogger! I'm so proud of him :)

I'm of course just gonna keep doing WW & working hard at losing weight. I see a difference in my body, if the scale doesn't reflect it OH WELL. It will eventually.

Here are some pictures from yesterday. I absolutely love LA. I saw, two weddings, a guy roller skating while playing the bongos, people tight roping, kids playing, a beautiful sunset, guys doing tricks in their bikes, lots of other runners, tons of friendly bums, and so much more.

The picture of me in the pink skirt was from today. I bought it 6 weeks ago and couldn't fit into it comfortably until today!

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Weigh In

Last week: 205.6
This week: 205.0

Words can not describe my frustration. Yes I know I lost, yes at least it's not a gain. But losing .6 pounds in 4 weeks is unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE!!

It just is! It's like I'm working so hard just to maintain. I'm wasting money I already paid to be losing weight with Weight Watchers. Something has to change. I'm just not sure what.

Heading to Santa Monica now to attempt running 10 miles. it'll be wonderful to de-stress, with a beautiful view. I'm going to be doing a lot of thinking & praying while I run.

Congrats to Kelly on losing 101 pounds! You're awesome girl!

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Friday, May 18, 2012

Count Down.

Only 15 more days until our half marathon!!! I am getting very excited, anxious, and nervous!!! I am super nervous because my training isn't where it should be.  I'm gonna try to run 10 miles tomorrow. Which will be my longest run before the half.  It's also a 3 mile jump from my last long run, 7 miles.  Ugh! I was such a procrastinator this time! My last half marathon I only went up to 10 as well, and the last three miles were PAIN during the race.  And I had terrible tummy cramps after the race.  I am praying I won't have runners tummy this time!!

I am also very excited because I really think my husband has a chance to place in his age group!! He is one fast stud muffin. He will have to keep a 7.5 minuet mile pace the whole time to place, but that's about what he runs, with out much effort might I add. It's *SO NOT FAIR*

Me on the other hand?? I am just hoping to finish in under 3:30. My last time was 3:09, but this race has lots of hills!!! Including a mile long hill. ouch.  I may have a more ambitious goal, but I am nervous to write it.  Okay okay I'll tell you. I REALLY really really want to finish in 2:59.  But, I haven't trained as much, and there are a lot of hills. That comes out to about 13.5 min per mile.  I run a 14 min mile.  I'm slow, I know it.

So the next two weeks looks like: tomorrow- 10 miles. Tuesday- 4 miles Thursday- 1 mile incline treadmill Saturday- 5 miles Monday- 2 miles Wednesday- 1 mile incline treadmill Rest-
Saturday June 2- 13.1 miles!

Last night we got new running shoes. Eeek! Very, extremely much needed.  I had to make my husband get new shoes. His almost had holes in them. {He is such a penny pincher} And they were on sale.  I do still feel guilty because even on sale running shoes aren't exactly cheap. I had some cash I pitched in for my own. 

I am really proud of myself too because I've been looking for shoes for us for a couple months.  Making sure we can afford them, seeing if we really need them (our knee pain is a big YES, we do need them).  I made sure our boys all had what they needed first, ect. And I didn't buy on a splurge. Progress in more ways than one =) I was so picky because the last two pairs I've had since July 2009, I didn't love them.  I got them because they were good shoes on sale. Well this time I wasn't willing to spend a dime on a pair of shoes I didn't LOVE. So I really waited and was patient until I found one I love at a good price.  Wanna see?

I am also, very excited about June 2, because I am throwing my husband a surprise 30th Bday, at the beach right after our race!!! Yay! He has no clue...muahaha.  Another reason I want to finish sooner rather than later, also cause I don't want to miss him getting an award.  They are giving the rewards out at 11:30 am and our race starts at 8:30 am!  Sheesh that's tight.  I'll be giving my Mom the video camera!

Tomorrow is weigh in. I'm excited, I've done well this week. I HOPE it shows.

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

My day.

Sometimes, as a mommy to 3 little boys, I pull my hair out.  Ok, a lot of the time.  I need a quiet, me time.  I don't feel guilty saying that. I know I am much better Mom when I get that. Have I been getting that?? No.  I WANT, to go to Yoga!! I NEED it!! I am tense, stressed, and not getting any breaks.  Not even at night.

I try very hard to wake up before all the boys and pray, read my bible and have my coffee.  If this doesn't happen...oh boy.  Everyone watch out for Momzilla.

Let me give you an overview of the last few days mkay? 

Saturday, swing died.  In other words, baby's schedule is completely off wack.
I wake up between 7:00 am & 7:40 am.  Just sat down with my coffee, boys wake up.  Nurse the baby while cuddling the two older boys.
8:30 am give up on reading bible and praying, make breakfast, give the boys their "coffee" (milk for Shane, a teeny bit of coffee creamer with milk for Cody). 
Boys take forever to eat breakfast.  I am a Mommy Robot saying, "Eat you food, take a bite, don't get up until you're done!!"
I eat my breakfast.

Nurse the baby to sleep since the swing is broken and he is teething. (He normally goes in the swing awake and falls asleep for a long morning nap.)  Gently lay him down, he wakes up.  {No I don't do cry it out, I take back what I wrote on that in a past post, after much research I've decided NOT to let my baby scream for an hour, because mine, well they never fell asleep, they just kept crying, and so did I, and for the record, Reece is usually on a great schedule that he put himself on}.

I get the boys situated with a cartoon, then I lay down with Reece. He's teething and isn't sleeping well at all. He'll only sleep these last three days in my arms, or in bed with me.

I get up, he stays asleep for about 20-30 mins, I try to clean up breakfast, start on the dishes, start several different tasks with out finishing them. Reece wakes up, I put him in his jumper.
The boys go outside and play, get extremely dirty, I give them a bath, then before I know it it's 12:30 pm and I need to make us all, plus hubby, lunch. 

1:00pm Davey comes home for lunch, the house looks like it exploded with toys, and I am still in my sweats.  Sheesh. 

2:00 pm Davey is back at work, I lay Shane and Cody down with a story for a "nap", I lay down with Reece, get him to sleep, then I get up quietly, attempt to clean up the house when I hear, "Mom! I want some milk!!" I get the boys sippy cups, reinforce nap time.  5 minuets later, "MOM! I have to go caca!" Some how my two oldest go poop on the same schedule. I wipe both butts, put them back to bed, now Reece is awake. 
Sit down, nurse him, play with him for a bit.  "Mom?? Can we get up now? I'm done with my story!!" I give up on nap time, and any quiet time in the afternoon. 

4:30, start dinner, rush around cleaning, doing laundry, changing diapers, doing dishes, soothing poor Reece, cleaning up messes, filling up sippy cups, putting boys on time out for fighting,  attempt to work out, dream of taking a long hot shower. Finish dinner, situate all boys, take a 5 min shower, all while Shane and Cody run in and out yelling, "Ewww are you  naked!??" not very peaceful....

Get dressed, Davey comes home.  I am ready to plop in bed and go to sleep by now.  I try to "hand off" the boys to Davey but he's quite tired too from work, plus he wakes up at 5:00 am to work on his sermons. Usually he helps though anyways.

6:00pm (yesterday we went running at six) Eat dinner as a family, clean up dinner, do dishes, do another load of laundry, soothe Reece, get boys ready for bed, start bedtime routines, read a story, cuddle for 15 minuets, nurse Reece to sleep, lay him down, he wakes up, nurse him again, let him sleep in my arms until I decide to go to bed. Turn on our VERY important fan, which drowns out the very annoying barking of the neighbors yappy dogs.  It doesn't work....IT DIED TOO!! Lay down with Reece, he falls asleep move him to his bed (usually he sleeps in his crib no problem at night) he wakes up crying right away, give up on that, he sleeps with us, I wake up every hour from the barking dogs, Reece stirs and whimpers in his sleep because his teeth hurt, Cody gets in bed with us, my back is killing me because I am on the edge of the bed and can't move, hubby's alarm goes off at 5:00am, and it starts all over again. 

Normally Cody doesn't come in our bed, normally Reece sleeps well, and naps well, normally I can't hear the dogs because of our fan.

I am feeling tired, frustrated and needing a BREAK.  I wish, I wish I could go to Yoga right now.

It is such a peaceful release of stress.  I always feel so rejuvenated after. Yes I run, but not often alone, and if so I am usually not feeling super peaceful and relaxed, although it does help. 

Can you believe there is NO YOGA studios with in driving distance from me?? There is a class Monday nights at a dance studio but it's $40 a month....for ONE class a week.  I want to do it, but for $40 a month I could join a gym and get more than just Yoga. Ya know?? We don't exactly have extra money right now either, but if I don't get some peace and quiet I am not helping anyone,  and I just may kung fu some people. 

Have more to whine about but I have to go make dinner.  Then take a shower, then go to church. 

Love, The Curvy Housewife

PS I love my boys, and I am so thankful for my life, and I would never want a different life! Just feeling a little on edge over here today okie dokie? :)



Monday, May 14, 2012

Weigh In & Cody's Birthday Party!

Last week 205.6
This week 205.6

That's three....THREE!! weeks in a row where I have stayed the same!!! fjdkahjfhja;kajhfdafdakj!!!!!!!

That's gibberish for words I can not say...

What is going on?? I mean....what is going on?!!!! I would be LESS shocked if I was up or down .2 or something...but the same exact weight? Mind boggling. 
What is it?
Fluid? Really?
Too many points??
Not weighing/measuring well?
What??

All I know is next week IT WILL be down.  Oh yes it will.  Or I'm gonna kung fu the women that weighs me in every week.  This week she says, "Hm. You're the exact same again. Bizarre" silent pause..... "Ok!! We just need to break through this plateau.  Maybe you should start exercising. Use your baby as a weight maybe?"
I give her a blank stare. 
Me: "I do exercise. I run quite a bit..."
WW Lady: "Oh, ok.."
Me: "Um, do you think I need to eat my activity points since I am breastfeeding?"
WW Lady: "No, you don't have to..I mean, I don't know."
Me: "Uhhhhh.... Ok? thanks..." walk away totally confused.

I was determined to get into the meeting this week, so I said my NSV, that I ran 7 miles with out walking.  Everyone clapped. It was sweet. I left all 3 boys with my Mom on Friday, and went running. Oh boy it was HOT. I did 4.3 miles.  I almost threw up from the heat.  9 on my schedule for this week.  eeek. 


Cody's party was such a blast.  Lots of people came, and Cody was speechless when he opened the door and saw Spiderman.  First there was shock, then He jumped in his arms.  Unforgettable.

Pictures are worth a thousand words... so here they are.

P.S. I went way over my points this weekend. Lots of water and fruits/veggies today.   





I'm FED up with no progress. Digging down deep this week & asking God to help me. 


Love, The Curvy Housewife

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Terrifying

What use to be terrifying to me? Sharks. Yes they were my biggest fear.  But once I became a mom my fears changed. It's a way scarier, uncontrollable fear.  I mean, if I am so scared of sharks I'll stay out of the ocean. Problem solved.  But now....at any moment a fear can become a reality.  And yesterday it did.

Cody turned 3 yesterday.  We are throwing him a big party on Saturday. Spiderman is coming, bounce house, I am making him 2 superhero cakes, the whole shabang.  Yesterday I planned to take the boys to Target so Cody could pick out a toy with his birthday money.  As we got in the car to leave the house, I noticed it was HOT. Very hot.  I checked my iPod and it read 93. In the car was probably 105.  At least. So we rolled down the windows and cranked up the air and drove away.

As we got to Target I parked in the shade, right next to the carts.  Ideal for a mom with 3 kiddos.  I grabbed a cart, loaded Shane and Cody into it, then went around to get Reece out and put him in the sling.  I opened Reece's door, locked the car, put the keys in my purse and was greeted by Reece's happy smiling face. As I was getting him out I realized I forgot to go to the bank to cash a check that was for Cody.  Ugh. Back in the car! I locked Reece back up, throw my purse on my seat, and shut the door.

I pushed the cart to Shane and Cody's side, and terror hits me when I realize the doors are locked. My purse is in the car on my drivers seat.  Cell phone, keys, everything inside my purse.  Reece is locked in his carseat, in the car, in the heat. 

I started to panic, I frantically look for anyone to help me.  I wave and yell at a lady in the parking lot for her cell phone.  I call 911.  I'm crying now, she connects me to the fire department.  They are asking me where I was, where I am parked, I am explaining but they can't hear me because of the wind. I'm yelling and crying into the phone.  They say they are on their way. 

I hang up, and stare at Reece, banging on the window for him to look at me so he knows I'm there. That I didn't forget him.  He's ok at first but it starts to get hot and he starts crying.  I'm crying.  Ready to break a window.  My vans back windows were open, they only open about two inches, but I knew in pure adrenaline to save my baby I could pull it off and break the window. 

Five minuets later a sheriff pulls into the parking lot, I jump up and down waving my arms in the air.  Then an ambulance and fire truck arrive.  Then more sheriffs. And more firetrucks.  "Ok how serious is this?" I think to myself.  I am freaking out.  Out of ALL those first responders, none of them or their tools could break into my van.  You've got to be kidding me! "I'm gonna just break the window!" I'm saying. 

"We've called the tow truck, they will be right here."  5, 10, 15, 20 minuets goes by and no tow truck.  They all assure me he is ok, that I did good by parking in the shade.  If he was in trouble they would have gotten him out by now. 
Reece stopped crying for a little while and was just chewing on his teether.  My face was glued to the window.  I am shouting into the car that "Mommy's here! It's ok baby!".  Shane and Cody are loving all the attention.  They get stickers and to touch all the guys uniforms and badges. 

There has been a big crowd since all the first responders arrive.  An obnoxious, hideous women comes near us and yells, "How could they lock their baby in the car!!!!? Why would they do that!!!??" and she's yelling at me like I did it on purpose. I yelled back at her that it was obviously an accident.  A firefighter blocks her and tells her to get out of here, but she comes back again later.  She is sooooo lucky I am a Christian women because I was ready to charge her, and I don't think the cops would have blamed me.  Later, I saw her protesting on the corner. Figures.

By 20+ minuets I am seriously telling them I am going to break my window open.  Reece is now crying a lot.  I was in the car right before he got locked in, I know how hot it is inside.  They told me he'd be there in 5 minuets, and kept assuring me Reece was gonna be ok.  FINALLY the tow truck driver arrives, everyone is asking him what took him so long.

He uses his tools, opens the front door and I throw it open. I unlock the doors and grab Reece out.  The medics wanted to feel him and see if he needed to go to the hospital.  But I was hugging him with all I had and sobbing.  I think there was an applause, I can't remember really.  I was so focused on Reece.  He had beads of sweat all over his nose and face, his back was drenched, but the medic thought he was fine.  He stopped crying the moment I picked him up.  

I couldn't stop crying, for even 30-40 mins after.  I was praying to Jesus out loud for the tow truck driver to get there, I felt so completely helpless during it all.  It's a terrifying feeling not being able to help your baby.  I know they wouldn't have let anything happen to him, but I was questioning their judgment of how long he would be ok.

They all gave Reece a pat on the head and asked me some of his stats.  I couldn't wait to nurse him. I knew he'd be dehydrated.  He's such a good boy though, he didn't cry at all after.   One of the sheriffs had to take my info and see my ID. That kinda freaked me out.  Hopefully that's just protocol.  I sure feel like a terrible mom.  My poor baby.

I thank Jesus for protecting my boys each and every day, and for their health.  I'd die from a broken heart if anything happened to any of my boys or my husband. 

It's terrifying knowing that you can't always control what happens or doesn't happen to your kids.  I can stay away from Sharks, but I can't always know that my boys will never get hurt, be scared, get sick, fall, ect. 

I am definitely hugging Reece extra today. 
And I'm getting a spare hid-a-key.
After that, I didn't make the best food choices.  It was Cody's birthday, and I promised him a trip to Target.  I did NOT want to go into that Target, so I drove 15 minuets to the next one.  I had a soft pretzel than frozen pizza at home.  I bought mini cupcakes so I wouldn't be tempted to eat any left over cake today.  Welllll......that plan doesn't work out when no one wants any mini cupcakes. What's up with my family?? These little devils are bite size, yet packed with points.  OOPS.  Oh well, moving on. 

I'm nervous about the next few days.  My mom is on her way here and Cody's party is Saturday.  Lot's of food going to be around. How do I not go over??

Thank God for the people you love. I know I sure do.

Love, The Curvy Housewife 

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Slow, Fat, Mommy Runner

In college I had some really close girl friends. We'd always work out and eat right and occasionally pig out together. It was fun.

One time, we were walking around campus for a work out, when suddenly two of my friends (you know who you are ;}) that were both thin and fit decide it was time to RUN. They just took off and were like, "c'mon Ad let's go!" I was NEVER a runner. I mean never. I was the one that failed PE because I refused to make myself look like fool while trying but never meeting the 10 min mile mark. Oh if I could only go back in time.

I was the one that QUIT Karate when I was 8 or 9 right before my black belt test because I was so scared to run the 3 miles for the test. Whenever we would run in Karate I would day dream about pretending to pass out right on the track from an Asthma attack. "That'll show 'em!",  I use to think.

When my friends took off running, I started jogging, trying to keep up, what else was I suppose to do? That's when they really got going. Now I was at least 50 yards behind them. Right as we were passing by all the guys on the basketball team, one of the girls shouts back at me, "YOU can do it Adrienne!!! Let's go!!!" as I am literally about to fall over and die from lack of oxygen.  All the guys looked at me and just stared as I huffed and puffed past them.  M O R T I F I E D.

I ran 7 miles last night.  Me. The overweight, slow, fat, mommy of 3 little boys.  I know I've ran 7 miles before. Remember, it use to be my favorite mileage? But obviously I got a little out of shape while pregnant with Reece, so this is just as exciting as the first time.

I took Reece with me. Bad idea. We were attacked by millions of mosquito around mile 5.5. I had Reece totally covered with blankets...my legs look like a teenage boys face now. Not cool. 

Running as a mommy can be quit an adventure. Like when I ran over Cody with the jogging stroller. Or when Shane somersaulted into dog poop.  Ahhh, memories.

The half marathon is in 3 weeks.  I am barley half way there! My last half marathon I only trained up to 10 miles, and oh boy I was in so much pain after the 13.1.  I also had such bad runners tummy, which I got a little last night too. Runner's tummy is the WORST. Makes me not want to run.
My mom is coming for Cody's birthday party {Cody will be 3 tomorrow!!}. She is coming on Thursday so I plan to leave all the boys with her and hopefully run 8.5 miles.  Then next week do 10, and the week after that do 11, then taper.  I want to kick myself for getting behind on training.

I thought I'd start sharing what I am eating with you.  Here is yesterday's day.

Breakfast: 2 packages of Natural Apple Cinnamon oatmeal from Trader Joe's 7 points+
1/2 C %1 milk 1 point+
1/4 C Sugar Free Hazelnut creamer w coffee 2 Points+ Total: 10 P+

Lunch: Light Turkey Sandwich (2 slices Sara Lee light multi-grain bread, mustard, 1/2 oz reduced fat cheddar cheese Tillamook {Tillamook doesn't use hormones or anything in their cows!} two slices Foster Farms turkey lunch meat, normally I put onion, spinach and cucumber as well) 4 Points+
20 Cheddar Sun Chips 5 Points+
Homemade pineapple, apple, lemon, orange fruit juice 0 Points+ Total: 9 P+

Snack: 1 cup whole wheat pasta plain for fuel 4 Points+
9 Hershey kisses (spread out through out the day, bad I know!) 6 Points+  Total: 10 P+

Dinner: 1 cup whole wheat pasta, lean ground turkey w spaghetti sauce 7 Points+
biscuit 4 points+  Butter 1.5 tbsp 4 points+ Artichoke 0 Points+  Total: 15 P+

 Total: 44 P+ Target points+ = 46, I was 2 under.
Remember I get 14 extra points for Breastfeeding :)

Earned 9 activity points for running for 98 minuets. 

Thank you all for your sweet comments on my last post. They mean a lot!!!

Love, The Curvy Housewife


Monday, May 7, 2012

Do you know??

Warning. Long post of ramblings of an overweight mom trying to figure out why she's overweight.  I am NOT stuck in the past.  I really feel like my glory days are yet to come :) just personally analyzing why I began to gain weight to begin with. I may have already written a post like this or you know this about me already, but I needed to clear my mind and write it out.  :)

Do you know WHY you are overweight if you are?? Do you know why you struggle with food if you do? someone posted that question on Twitter the other day & I keep thinking about it.

I want raise my hand and say, "I know! I know!! Because I had 3 kids in 4 years!!!" But is that really the reason? I mean honestly I was overweight before I got pregnant. I struggled with my thinking I was overweight my whole life. Which, created yo-yo dieting.  Why did I think I was fat? That I am not sure.

Can a 7th grader go on a crazy diet that makes you starve as you drink a nasty protein drink instead of eating and stick with that their whole life? Um, no.  I really feel like this was the beginning of yo-yo dieting. Once I was hungry enough, my will power became nothing and I ate anything I could get my hands on. Then the guilt. Then the, "I'll start on Monday" mentality.  I'm pretty sure most of the time my parents didn't even know I was on a "diet". 

 My thoughts of me being fat, made it a reality to me.  Just because I had hips and boobs before the other girls didn't make me fat.  Just because I always had muscular short legs didn't mean I really had thunder thighs, although that is what some boys called me (who btw swooned over my "thunder thighs" in high school..yes I had to throw that in there.) 

I know I've been talking a lot lately about when I first started to really gain weight, and it's because I'm really digging down deep to get to the root of this.  Jillian Michaels always says, "if you don't deal with the issue of why you got fat, you will just gain the weight back." So I apologize if I am boring you :)

My junior year of high school I was on independent studies.  I really excelled here, as I got almost straight A's and I went to the gym every morning of the week.  My Mom allowed me to do this, and I will always thank her for it, because as I lost weight, and I felt good about myself.
When I was a senior in high school I started working for the evil lady.  Once I graduated I started working 3-4 days a week at 11 hours a day.  Sitting all day long. Sedentary. I no longer was on the cheer leading squad. I was dating my husband, I was happy.  I was alone at work all day.  Weight came on very easy.  VERY easy. 

But then...I decided to take a chance at a dream I've always had. Yes. I was going to try out for the Oakland Raiderette's.   I began to work out, to dance again, to "train" for this try out.  I was 150 lbs when I tried out.  The very first try out was not a dance routine. It wasn't a cheer or a tumbling act.  It was, each lady going up on stage in front of a group of judges, saying their name, spelling it, giving their age and height, than slowly pivoting so the judges could look you up and down.  I choked up on stage a little. Out of 800 women that tried out o, only 40 got a call back and they only took 2 new Raiderette's.  I was really sad when I didn't even get a call back for the dance portion.  I thank God now I didn't make it. I mean really thank Him.  How different my life would have been.  I absolutely LOVE my life now and wouldn't want anything else. 

After I didn't make it, I got depressed. I threw in the towel on working out and eating right.  I quickly became 180 lbs.  My clothes didn't fit.  I went on Atkins and lost about 10 pounds. But once I had carbs again it all came back in an instant.  I was always, I mean always trying to lose weight.  Now, I really was fat. I didn't want to hang out with my friends. I didn't want to go on dates with my husband who I was dating at the time. I wanted to be alone and eat Oreo's while watching TV.  I often skipped out on events and gatherings.  This eventually led my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I to brake up Feb 6, 2005.  I was heart broken and depressed.  This was the lowest part of my life, I was only 19 years old.

I cried all day everyday, I couldn't show up to work at Nordstoms I was so heartbroken.  All I wanted was to be with Davey, to lose weight and to be happy.  But God........{Don't you love those words!}
But God had a plan for me.  He was there in the midst of this all. I had trusted Him as Saviour at 17 years old and He used this low time in my life, to show me His love. He filled that void. He comforted me. HE GAVE ME HOPE. I knew the blessed truth that He had a plan for me.  I no longer hung out with the same friends anymore, but this time it was because I was a new person.

I fully committed my life to God in my apartment while crying on my knees.  I meant every single word I prayed.  I was still in love with my husband (ex boyfriend at the time). I prayed for him with out ceasing.  I decided I needed to move away, to go to bible college for a new life.  I was so excited.  My weight wasn't the forefront of my mind anymore.  One day, Davey called me, and told me he was done with the life he had been living.  He wanted to serve Him.  What an answer to prayer!!! He became faithful to church and got close to our pastor.  Eventually he decided to go to the same bible college as me.  My reaction......"Whhhaaaatttttttt????!!!!!! Lord are YOU serious?!" I knew how hard that would be.  Us going, not dating, not knowing many people.  I had made a new BFF by now who we went off to bible college together. At the end of the summer in 2005 we all drove the 5 hours down to southern California for a new beginning. I was 184 pounds.  Davey often wanted to hang out with Vanessa and I at school since we all knew each other and we were the from the same church.  It was tough. Us three had made a group of friends and we all always hung out together. 

Long story short, the first semester was very very hard.  Girls swooned over Davey and I cried in my dorm.  Eventually I told him I couldn't be his friend because it was too hard.  He said he didn't want to lose me. That I was one of his best friends.  Unbeknown to me, this whole time he was praying about asking me to marry him.   During this time that I didn't talk with him, God confirmed that in fact, he was to marry me [big smile as I write that]. 

When we got home for Christmas break people kept saying I looked like I lost weight.  I didn't have a scale at college I don't think, and when I went home I weighed and realized I had lost 12 pounds! Score! Who would have known you'd lose weight just by eating 3 meals and a couple small snacks a day and walking to all of your classes? :) While on Christmas break, Jan 7 2006, Davey took me out to dinner to a restaurant on the beach, and asked me to marry him!!! :) I was so happy.  GOD IS SO GOOD. I really can't say that enough. If you put HIM first, He will always bless you a hundred fold. 

We set our date for August 4, 2006.  That gave me plenty of time to lose weight.  My Mom took me dress shopping right away and I picked a dress that was a size 14, but in real clothes size it was more like a 10-12.  I couldn't zip it up when I bought it.   The next few months I struggled to lose 12 pounds.  The summer of our wedding I didn't eat after 4:00pm, and I worked out every day... The day I got married, I weighed 159.5   and the dress barley zipped!! But it did. And I felt sooo good.

     
After our honeymoon (where I think I gained 10 pounds) weight kept coming on.  I was so happily married. I was learning to cook and found a love for baking.  After about 6 months of marriage I found a job, at LA Weight Loss.  I was going to be a weight loss counselor. Me!!! I loved it!! I got to do the program for free. My first weigh in, 195 pounds.  Whoa.  I had no clue I gained 35 pounds in 6 months!! I was devastated.  I did the program, and lost 14 pounds.  Than quit my job to be a stay at home wife, and finish college.  I gained 6 pounds back, and 10 months after we said "I do" we were delighted and so very happy to be expecting our first son.  I was 187 when I got pregnant. 

Oh boy... then comes the big numbers.  I am not sure why I gained so much while pregnant with Shane.  I had a wonderful easy pregnancy... I was finishing college, and I ate a lot of donuts {that could do it eh?}.  I loved to bake, and cook, and fat stuck to me like glue.  Before I knew it, I didn't recognize myself.   The day I delivered, Feb 6 2008 (yes did you notice? exactly 3 years after Davey and I broke up we had a son, what a happy day!)
 I was 244 pounds.   I guess a lot was water, because I lost 30 (plus the baby) pounds with out doing much after I had him.. Then I quickly became pregnant with Cody.  I was 6 months postpartum from Shane and weighed about 210.  I gained 44 pounds with Cody, bringing me to an all time high of 254 pounds the day I went into labor. This time, no water weight.  ALL fat. I lost 10 pounds, (Cody was 7lbs12oz) so baby and placenta, and that's it. Nice, right?  I stayed that weight until I started this in July 2010. 

I was very depressed about how big I got, so I would eat when my husband wasn't home.  It became a regular thing for me to battle my baby blues with a trip to target or walmart where I'd buy junk food.  Eating alone has always been a comfort to me.  A place where I felt free, no judgment.  Why do I feel that way?!!! It all comes down to this...................

When I was young, I THOUGHT I was fat, so I felt I had to eat in secret. Which began binging/dieting cycles. Then when I WAS fat, I certainly could not eat in front of people.  So I would eat whatever I wanted, alone.  Wow.

Pretty clear isn't it.  Me thinking I was fat when I was young, gave me unhealthy eating/dieting/binging habits which ultimately made me fat.   Why I thought I was fat is still unclear to me.

I really want my children to embrace a focus on something other than self.  I want them to have something that distracts them from any negative self image they may have.  They need an outlet that gives them confidence so they see they  have success at something.  We plan for them to do all kinds of sports, and extra curricular activities.  If I could go back in time, I would play competitive sports and throw my heart into it.  It gives self confidence while keeping a teen active. 

I am really not wanting to hit publish right now.  This is embarrassing. But this is my life.


Do you know why you are overweight? Have you figured out the root problem?


Love, The Curvy Housewife

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Perseverance

Weigh In:
Last week: 205.6 WW scale
This week: 205.6 WW scale.

I was so mad at the WW meeting after my WI. 0??? Really?! And the lady goes, "So you just maintained this week..." all happy. I wanted to slap her.

I FEEL lighter, I can see I'm getting smaller... Wtheck?

I was so annoyed during the meeting. All these people getting stupid stars and junk. Bad attitude? I think so.

Seriously though. People were getting key chains for walking 5K's. My attitude was bad. "No ones talking to me! No one knows I'm running a half marathon! So what if she lost 40lbs! It's not working for me!!" what a B A B Y.

After the meeting I went to trader joes & got food for the beach. I may have got some chocolate chip cookies and a package of 4 chocolate chip cakes.

So after I got home & pouted to my husband (who btw totally encouraged me and said i look great, ect) I ate 3/4 of choc cake and 4 chocolate chips cookies. :(

Then....I felt VERY sick to my stomach. Which made me happy. Oddly. But that lets me know...my body was rejecting this bad food. I'm no longer immune to it. That means I've changed. And besides the scale, I can see I've lost weight..I posted this picture on FB. Granted its just my face, but people commented on how thin I look. So nice. I'm gonna keep going, keep fighting and pushing. Because its not all about the scale.

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Friday, May 4, 2012

I hate the mall.

Yesterday was an errand day for me. Tuesday my hubby started working at our church...did I mention that!?? Huge answer to prayer.  So, I had to venture out with three kiddos all on my own.

One of our first stops was the mall.  I always buy my boys shoes at Old Navy (they are so reasonable, cheaper and better than Target and Walmart). I scored quite a few shoes for cheap for all my guys (except Reece, he just kicks them off ;))

See? Shoes for the Hub $12! Boys shoes $9 each & 2 pairs of flip flops for Shane and Cody $2.50 each. Can't beat that. 


I contemplated getting me a work out shirt at Old Navy but decided against it because 1. I shouldn't be spending money & 2. I am losing weight. (Although I am in desperate need of work out shirts!)

But I did decide to get myself a new purse..$14. There goes reason #1. ;-) Isn't it sooo cute?


After Old Navy I went to a store I use to love. Forever 21. Ours is huge.  I was browsing trying not to focus on the extremely loud music that might wake Reece up, who is sleeping in the Moby wrap, when I remember they only go up to size L. And their size L is actually like a regular M.  I see several young very thin girls shopping. I found some really cute tops I wanted but was not about to spend money on them yet if I can't wear them for who knows how long. As I was putting them back, I could tell I looked frustrated. Than the sales girl came up to me and said, "Hi, uh are you finding everything ok?" I am a mom, shopping with 3 little boys, in a section where clothes don't fit...I felt so ridiculous. I wasn't about to say that though.  I said, "Oh yeah I'm good thanks!" and booked it. But okay, I'm a Mom, but I'm only 26. That means if I could fit into their clothes it wouldn't be that ridiculous.  I have been saving up for a goal weight shopping spree. I will go back to that store. And I will be able to fit into their stupid small size L.  Mkay? Mkay.

I couldn't get out of the mall fast enough. The mall just reminds me of when I was able to shop there. It also reminds me of when I first realized I was gaining weight. Remember I told you how my evil Russian boss would call me chubby when I was about 170 lbs? Well while I worked there I got hired at my most desired place of employment...NORDSTROMS.  Leaving the evil Russian was no problem. What human likes to be called chubby all the time? Anyways, it was when I started working at Nordstoms in the BP department that I realized I could barley fit into their biggest size, a 13.

Have I ever mentioned that I worked at Nordstroms and went to junior college for Fashion Design? I was a HUGE fashionista.  Ever since I was little. I can remember my mom making me bell bottoms when I was in 6th grade because I wanted some. I also remember being teased about them, but I didn't care. Those 6th graders didn't know fashion like I did. I have my Mom to thank for encouraging me to be who I really was instead of conforming to what others thought was "cool".  It paid off too because in 8th grade I was voted "Biggest Wardrobe" in the year book, and most of those girls that teased me, well let's just say they didn't hang with the "cool" crowd in high school.  (Not that someone should aspire to hang with the "cool" crowd...I'm a big advocate for being yourself & embracing your talents. For instance if you are good at soccer, you play soccer and you own it! Or piano, or whatever. Don't not do it because your friends think it's dumb..ok total side note. That's a whole 'nother post. :)
It was my Mom, my sister and I from 7th grade up, and we could all share clothes. So of course I had a big wardrobe. :) I have SUPER fond memories of going shopping with my Mom at the mall. Our favorite stores were Bebe (which I hate now, because I swear their clothes were only made for size 0 Asian women), Cache, and Nordstroms. My Mom had expensive taste. :) Since my parents divorced, she always worked really hard to make sure we didn't feel deprived of anything.

Back to yesterday..... I needed some home goods and groceries so I headed to Target.  A safe Haven.  I KNOW I can fit in Target size XL tops. {Yup, XXL is too big folks!} Target and Old Navy has been the source of my clothes for 4+ years.  I love them, they are kind in their sizes & prices.  But Oh I am so ready to be able to walk into any store and be able to fit their clothes.

While shopping for clothes for Reece (he is such a beast! in 9-12 month clothes, not even 5 months old!), a rather large lady comes up to me and says, "How do you do it?!" we laughed and talked. As she walked away Shane yells, "Hey! Why is your butt so big?!" Oh. My. Word. **BLUSH** I felt terrible. He wasn't trying to be mean, he really had never seen a butt that big and wondered why it was big.  So embarrassing!! Poor lady. I'd cry if someone said that to me.

Tomorrow is weigh in. I'm super excited. I'm getting close to the 100's again and CAN NOT wait.  I've done good all week. Stayed with in my points and earned 19 Activity Points this week and I plan to add 6 more today {Tea Bo & Treadmill}.  I am guzzling water because I ate a Rubio's burrito yesterday for dinner with the fam. Even though it was with in points it was full of not so good stuff.

Tomorrow we are going to the beach in LA! Super excited. I'm going to try to blog about my weigh in before we go.  Hope everyone has had a great week.

p.s. this post was hard to write. embarrassing & vulnerable. everyone and their mom's know now i'm too fat to shop at the mall. fantastic.  but it was necessary for me to write it. i already feel better about it all & know I just need to keep working hard & i'll get there.

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

My idea of cute...

Kelly posted how she is buying this amazing dress from Nordstroms. It's gonna be her goal weight dress and she is buying it in a size 6! So excited for her to get there and wear it!

I've thought about doing that but always worry that I won't actually ever get to wear it..This time I KNOW I will. Some how I just do.  So I tweeted Kelly and told her I was going to copy her. Then began the search. I may* have wasted a day and a half so far looking for a dress I couldn't even wear yet.  With NO luck I almost gave up. Than I found this adorable website with this adorable dress. It's what I want, except, I want a mint color dress, maybe short sleeves and I want it knee length! Is that so hard to ask for an adorably stylish dress that won't show my bum if I bend over to pick up my son??  I am so not judging anyone that wears dresses that length or anything, but honestly for me, it's not in the bag.  I like things a little more conservative, yet still very stylish. I do bend over a lot for my kiddos and I may have accidentally flashed some people my grannie panties before. Either that or my rather large chest is falling out the top of my shirt or dress. Very uncomfortable!

Anyways, I decided to ask my Mom, who just happens to be a professional seamstress, if she could make me what I want. She is going to make it for me in a Medium!! Maybe we'll make more than one and see if they sell.  Oh and I've decided I am going to have a party when I reach goal and wear the dress. Yup!! It's gonna happen! :)

Who knows, maybe we will come up with a whole line! :) 

My week is going well so far. Staying with in points, working out, drinking water. Excited for weigh in.

Do you know of any cute websites with stylish modest clothes? Or where I could find a mint knee length dress that isn't too much?

Love, The Curvy Housewife