I hate the mall.

Yesterday was an errand day for me. Tuesday my hubby started working at our church...did I mention that!?? Huge answer to prayer.  So, I had to venture out with three kiddos all on my own.

One of our first stops was the mall.  I always buy my boys shoes at Old Navy (they are so reasonable, cheaper and better than Target and Walmart). I scored quite a few shoes for cheap for all my guys (except Reece, he just kicks them off ;))

See? Shoes for the Hub $12! Boys shoes $9 each & 2 pairs of flip flops for Shane and Cody $2.50 each. Can't beat that. 


I contemplated getting me a work out shirt at Old Navy but decided against it because 1. I shouldn't be spending money & 2. I am losing weight. (Although I am in desperate need of work out shirts!)

But I did decide to get myself a new purse..$14. There goes reason #1. ;-) Isn't it sooo cute?


After Old Navy I went to a store I use to love. Forever 21. Ours is huge.  I was browsing trying not to focus on the extremely loud music that might wake Reece up, who is sleeping in the Moby wrap, when I remember they only go up to size L. And their size L is actually like a regular M.  I see several young very thin girls shopping. I found some really cute tops I wanted but was not about to spend money on them yet if I can't wear them for who knows how long. As I was putting them back, I could tell I looked frustrated. Than the sales girl came up to me and said, "Hi, uh are you finding everything ok?" I am a mom, shopping with 3 little boys, in a section where clothes don't fit...I felt so ridiculous. I wasn't about to say that though.  I said, "Oh yeah I'm good thanks!" and booked it. But okay, I'm a Mom, but I'm only 26. That means if I could fit into their clothes it wouldn't be that ridiculous.  I have been saving up for a goal weight shopping spree. I will go back to that store. And I will be able to fit into their stupid small size L.  Mkay? Mkay.

I couldn't get out of the mall fast enough. The mall just reminds me of when I was able to shop there. It also reminds me of when I first realized I was gaining weight. Remember I told you how my evil Russian boss would call me chubby when I was about 170 lbs? Well while I worked there I got hired at my most desired place of employment...NORDSTROMS.  Leaving the evil Russian was no problem. What human likes to be called chubby all the time? Anyways, it was when I started working at Nordstoms in the BP department that I realized I could barley fit into their biggest size, a 13.

Have I ever mentioned that I worked at Nordstroms and went to junior college for Fashion Design? I was a HUGE fashionista.  Ever since I was little. I can remember my mom making me bell bottoms when I was in 6th grade because I wanted some. I also remember being teased about them, but I didn't care. Those 6th graders didn't know fashion like I did. I have my Mom to thank for encouraging me to be who I really was instead of conforming to what others thought was "cool".  It paid off too because in 8th grade I was voted "Biggest Wardrobe" in the year book, and most of those girls that teased me, well let's just say they didn't hang with the "cool" crowd in high school.  (Not that someone should aspire to hang with the "cool" crowd...I'm a big advocate for being yourself & embracing your talents. For instance if you are good at soccer, you play soccer and you own it! Or piano, or whatever. Don't not do it because your friends think it's dumb..ok total side note. That's a whole 'nother post. :)
It was my Mom, my sister and I from 7th grade up, and we could all share clothes. So of course I had a big wardrobe. :) I have SUPER fond memories of going shopping with my Mom at the mall. Our favorite stores were Bebe (which I hate now, because I swear their clothes were only made for size 0 Asian women), Cache, and Nordstroms. My Mom had expensive taste. :) Since my parents divorced, she always worked really hard to make sure we didn't feel deprived of anything.

Back to yesterday..... I needed some home goods and groceries so I headed to Target.  A safe Haven.  I KNOW I can fit in Target size XL tops. {Yup, XXL is too big folks!} Target and Old Navy has been the source of my clothes for 4+ years.  I love them, they are kind in their sizes & prices.  But Oh I am so ready to be able to walk into any store and be able to fit their clothes.

While shopping for clothes for Reece (he is such a beast! in 9-12 month clothes, not even 5 months old!), a rather large lady comes up to me and says, "How do you do it?!" we laughed and talked. As she walked away Shane yells, "Hey! Why is your butt so big?!" Oh. My. Word. **BLUSH** I felt terrible. He wasn't trying to be mean, he really had never seen a butt that big and wondered why it was big.  So embarrassing!! Poor lady. I'd cry if someone said that to me.

Tomorrow is weigh in. I'm super excited. I'm getting close to the 100's again and CAN NOT wait.  I've done good all week. Stayed with in my points and earned 19 Activity Points this week and I plan to add 6 more today {Tea Bo & Treadmill}.  I am guzzling water because I ate a Rubio's burrito yesterday for dinner with the fam. Even though it was with in points it was full of not so good stuff.

Tomorrow we are going to the beach in LA! Super excited. I'm going to try to blog about my weigh in before we go.  Hope everyone has had a great week.

p.s. this post was hard to write. embarrassing & vulnerable. everyone and their mom's know now i'm too fat to shop at the mall. fantastic.  but it was necessary for me to write it. i already feel better about it all & know I just need to keep working hard & i'll get there.

Love, The Curvy Housewife