Terrifying

What use to be terrifying to me? Sharks. Yes they were my biggest fear.  But once I became a mom my fears changed. It's a way scarier, uncontrollable fear.  I mean, if I am so scared of sharks I'll stay out of the ocean. Problem solved.  But now....at any moment a fear can become a reality.  And yesterday it did.

Cody turned 3 yesterday.  We are throwing him a big party on Saturday. Spiderman is coming, bounce house, I am making him 2 superhero cakes, the whole shabang.  Yesterday I planned to take the boys to Target so Cody could pick out a toy with his birthday money.  As we got in the car to leave the house, I noticed it was HOT. Very hot.  I checked my iPod and it read 93. In the car was probably 105.  At least. So we rolled down the windows and cranked up the air and drove away.

As we got to Target I parked in the shade, right next to the carts.  Ideal for a mom with 3 kiddos.  I grabbed a cart, loaded Shane and Cody into it, then went around to get Reece out and put him in the sling.  I opened Reece's door, locked the car, put the keys in my purse and was greeted by Reece's happy smiling face. As I was getting him out I realized I forgot to go to the bank to cash a check that was for Cody.  Ugh. Back in the car! I locked Reece back up, throw my purse on my seat, and shut the door.

I pushed the cart to Shane and Cody's side, and terror hits me when I realize the doors are locked. My purse is in the car on my drivers seat.  Cell phone, keys, everything inside my purse.  Reece is locked in his carseat, in the car, in the heat. 

I started to panic, I frantically look for anyone to help me.  I wave and yell at a lady in the parking lot for her cell phone.  I call 911.  I'm crying now, she connects me to the fire department.  They are asking me where I was, where I am parked, I am explaining but they can't hear me because of the wind. I'm yelling and crying into the phone.  They say they are on their way. 

I hang up, and stare at Reece, banging on the window for him to look at me so he knows I'm there. That I didn't forget him.  He's ok at first but it starts to get hot and he starts crying.  I'm crying.  Ready to break a window.  My vans back windows were open, they only open about two inches, but I knew in pure adrenaline to save my baby I could pull it off and break the window. 

Five minuets later a sheriff pulls into the parking lot, I jump up and down waving my arms in the air.  Then an ambulance and fire truck arrive.  Then more sheriffs. And more firetrucks.  "Ok how serious is this?" I think to myself.  I am freaking out.  Out of ALL those first responders, none of them or their tools could break into my van.  You've got to be kidding me! "I'm gonna just break the window!" I'm saying. 

"We've called the tow truck, they will be right here."  5, 10, 15, 20 minuets goes by and no tow truck.  They all assure me he is ok, that I did good by parking in the shade.  If he was in trouble they would have gotten him out by now. 
Reece stopped crying for a little while and was just chewing on his teether.  My face was glued to the window.  I am shouting into the car that "Mommy's here! It's ok baby!".  Shane and Cody are loving all the attention.  They get stickers and to touch all the guys uniforms and badges. 

There has been a big crowd since all the first responders arrive.  An obnoxious, hideous women comes near us and yells, "How could they lock their baby in the car!!!!? Why would they do that!!!??" and she's yelling at me like I did it on purpose. I yelled back at her that it was obviously an accident.  A firefighter blocks her and tells her to get out of here, but she comes back again later.  She is sooooo lucky I am a Christian women because I was ready to charge her, and I don't think the cops would have blamed me.  Later, I saw her protesting on the corner. Figures.

By 20+ minuets I am seriously telling them I am going to break my window open.  Reece is now crying a lot.  I was in the car right before he got locked in, I know how hot it is inside.  They told me he'd be there in 5 minuets, and kept assuring me Reece was gonna be ok.  FINALLY the tow truck driver arrives, everyone is asking him what took him so long.

He uses his tools, opens the front door and I throw it open. I unlock the doors and grab Reece out.  The medics wanted to feel him and see if he needed to go to the hospital.  But I was hugging him with all I had and sobbing.  I think there was an applause, I can't remember really.  I was so focused on Reece.  He had beads of sweat all over his nose and face, his back was drenched, but the medic thought he was fine.  He stopped crying the moment I picked him up.  

I couldn't stop crying, for even 30-40 mins after.  I was praying to Jesus out loud for the tow truck driver to get there, I felt so completely helpless during it all.  It's a terrifying feeling not being able to help your baby.  I know they wouldn't have let anything happen to him, but I was questioning their judgment of how long he would be ok.

They all gave Reece a pat on the head and asked me some of his stats.  I couldn't wait to nurse him. I knew he'd be dehydrated.  He's such a good boy though, he didn't cry at all after.   One of the sheriffs had to take my info and see my ID. That kinda freaked me out.  Hopefully that's just protocol.  I sure feel like a terrible mom.  My poor baby.

I thank Jesus for protecting my boys each and every day, and for their health.  I'd die from a broken heart if anything happened to any of my boys or my husband. 

It's terrifying knowing that you can't always control what happens or doesn't happen to your kids.  I can stay away from Sharks, but I can't always know that my boys will never get hurt, be scared, get sick, fall, ect. 

I am definitely hugging Reece extra today. 
And I'm getting a spare hid-a-key.
After that, I didn't make the best food choices.  It was Cody's birthday, and I promised him a trip to Target.  I did NOT want to go into that Target, so I drove 15 minuets to the next one.  I had a soft pretzel than frozen pizza at home.  I bought mini cupcakes so I wouldn't be tempted to eat any left over cake today.  Welllll......that plan doesn't work out when no one wants any mini cupcakes. What's up with my family?? These little devils are bite size, yet packed with points.  OOPS.  Oh well, moving on. 

I'm nervous about the next few days.  My mom is on her way here and Cody's party is Saturday.  Lot's of food going to be around. How do I not go over??

Thank God for the people you love. I know I sure do.

Love, The Curvy Housewife