Weigh In 11 weeks pregnant

Last Thursday (last time I stepped on the scale) I was 165.3!!! Whoa. That's just about 80 lb loss! I have NOT been trying these last 10 lbs.

I am so glad to have kicked that stomach bug finally (only took 9 days!!).  Two more weeks until I'm in the 2nd trimester.  I can't wait to not be so tired, nauseous, depressed (yes my hormones are mad wacky), weepy, and I'm ready to have an appetite again!

Right now I absolutely don't want anything to eat besides the few things I crave. I can't even look at a plate of food that isn't what I want! LOL
There are only a few things I have been craving that I can eat, a turkey sandwich on gluten free bread, with mayo, lettuce, and tomatoes, and Honey Chex gluten free cereal. Everything else I crave has gluten...:( which makes me VERY depressed.  I want the stupidest things: donuts, brownies, Jack in the Box Tacos, ravioli, and......my biggest craving.....WALNUT SHRIMP!!!! Oh yum. But so sad.

I am seriously considering reintroducing gluten back into my diet. It's soooo frustrating to have to always make sure nothing has gluten, and the price of a loaf of bread is $5!! I mean....it's so inconvenient.  Saturday morning I got sick with "gluten pain" and I couldn't think for the life of me what I ate. Then I remembered that two days before I ate 1 bar of a Kit Kat. I went and looked at the package...WHEAT FLOUR! Ugh! One dumb little bar. Then a crazy thought, what if I keep eating just a little bit at a time and see if the pain will subside after a time? But do I really want to eat something that will hurt my body again?

Last night we went to the gym of our church for a fellowship time and I thought* I got everything gluten free...then I found out pudding has flour in it. Yikes! I skipped all the brownies and cookies and the dumb pudding got me! I was a little mad so I ate a little piece of sugar cookie...gulp...so far today I've been ok, but pain could come tomorrow....prayerfully not. We will see. 

Reece is finally taking a bottle of vit D milk!!! yay! even though he may be old for a bottle...I am just glad he is nursing a lot less. And soon he will be totally weaned. We are still working on him sleeping through the night. 

You know what....I don't know if it's the pregnancy or what but lately I just want to abandon all the things I'm interested and passionate about.  I'm not enjoying my photography that much, I haven't touched any of the books I've boughten on health and nutrition, and I am wavering in my faith of "clean eating" and "natural health".  Sounds like depression doesn't it?

Well I try SO hard to keep us all healthy, eat less processed foods, eat organic, ect ect, and we still got the evil death virus, and then we all got a cold after.  I'm a little bitter about it all.  I KNOW processed foods are bad.  I KNOW nutrition matters.  I KNOW gluten is bad for me.  But it's not motivating me...does this make sense? I look at my friends that cook delicious foods full of not so good stuff, and brownies for desert and I think, "Why can't I just do that? Why do I have to have health issues with bad food and they don't?" Truth is a lot of them do, and people struggle with their own demons, but I just want to NOT WORRY ABOUT IT for a little while.....sigh.  My husband is acting like I'm an alcoholic that wants to start drinking again! I bought hot dogs and chips and he was like, "what's going on here? Don't quit!" LOL
I don't want to quit and eat a bunch of crud, I just want to not have to stress about it so much....for a time...

I am reaping great things!!! I mean, my friends see me and say, "whoa!". My sister in law who hadn't seen me since Christmas came over last week and she said, "Oh my gosh! Adrienne! you look anorexic!" LOL um thank you?
DID I MENTION that I healed a cavity too!? Yes! I was using a dental scrapper a couple weeks ago and the decay of one of my tooth with a good size cavity scrapped right out!!! I'm not lying! All clean smooth white tooth under it.  I still have some big ones I am working on. More about that soon. 
So I know clean eating, healthy living really does reap great things.  But right now I just want to stay in my PJ's, watch a girl movie, and eat a box of donuts. Mkay? 

Resuming & Continuing

Although these last few months I have lost about 10 pounds (I fluctuated up and down for the first few weeks of pregnancy), I have not been trying to lose weight. TRYING is what I have been doing for two years now. July marks the two year anniversary to the start of my weight loss. Yes two years is way longer than I anticipated for losing 59 pounds, and I still have more to go. But you know what I am happy about......that I kept resuming, and continuing.
I have said it before, but that is the key to weight loss. Most people do not have perfect weight loss journey's where they lose 100 pounds in a year. Yes I know of some, and no I don't like them. Just kidding. But they are rare.

Life happens. Two years ago this month I had no idea I would get pregnant 9 months into the journey, be pregnant for three months, than lose our baby. I didn't know I would get pregnant again eight months after that and get terribly ill. But that is life!! I am embracing the journey because I am still on it. Even at almost 18 weeks pregnant, I want to be continuing what I have worked on for two years.
The first 16 weeks of the pregnancy I didn't have much control over what I could eat. Which is why I lost weight. But now that I can [sort of] eat the foods I want and crave, will I eat anything and everything unhealthy??

Answer is, at first, I didn't really care about that. I was just so glad to know I wouldn't get sick from eating fat. I felt deprived and that I had to make it up to me and my baby. What I have learned these last two weeks, eating junk food isn't all the fun. It doesn't make me feel good physically. My body still does not want fast food, greasy foods, or sugary candy. So for me, continuing with health during this pregnancy is eating good, non greasy foods. Eggs, cheese, fruits, veggies, lean meat, peanut butter, milk. Much of that I couldn't eat before the surgery. Don't get me wrong, if we go out I will eat what I want, but that is usually something my body needs. We went out for my husbands birthday just him and I. It was wonderful. I had Lobster, Shrimp, and Steak. Yes. I. Did. and a baked potato with sauteed mushrooms. I am still dreaming about it. Can you tell I am craving protein? I am also not saying I won't eat a cookie once in a while. I am pregnant. :-D And I am also not saying I won't gain weight the next half of the pregnancy. What I am saying is, I'm going to try my best to continue, and when the baby comes, resume weight loss.

I am also trying to brace myself for seeing the scale go up. Now that I am not on a non fat diet, I should be gaining weight. It will be hard to see the scale go up. After surgery I was still 185. But my jean skirt I wore the day before surgery, fell off me six days later. Weird. But I do believe I have gained a pound or two. I will be 18 weeks tomorrow and look maybe 12 weeks [for me]. Usually by now people are asking me what the baby is, when I am due, and it is obvious I am expecting. If I don't hold my dress below my tummy [like in my earlier pic] you can't tell very much. Or it's just awkward to ask because someone just isn't sure and doesn't want to insult me.

DON'T FORGET!!! Tomorrow we find out the gender!!! WHOOT! I will update ASAP!!

Love, The Curvy Housewife