Motivation

The baby was due this week. The 15th. I keep going over in my head how excited I would be, packing my bags for the hospital, my mom coming to stay with the boys, Davey on call all the time in case I went into labor. And if it was anything like Cody's birth, I would be totally prepared for a FAST delivery. I would be cleaning and sorting and making room for our new little bundle of joy. I really didn't think this week was going to be this hard.

I have been depressed, down, and sad. Crying here and there, lonely because Davey is away for work, and un-motivated to do anything.

I have been drawing nigh to God, and His comfort is real. Friends that have gone through this comfort me as well. I am so thankful to God for my boys, and my husband, and my home, and family, and friends, and that I am a homemaker, and that I have lost weight, and my fitness level, and so much more.

I am really writing this post for me. Not for everyone to feel sorry for me, everyone has had hard times. I need to remind myself what I am doing in this time of my life. I need to remind myself my goals so I don't try to get pregnant because I am sad. But the truth is, I really want another baby.

I am motivated to lose the weight, so in summer, I can get pregnant and have confidence of a healthy pregnancy. Right now, my biggest motivation for losing weight is that. Because I want another baby. I am motivated to achieve the goals I have set for myself this year while I can before another baby comes.

I am determined to lose the weight, to compete in my goals of triathlons, foot races, ect. I want to be fully ready to get pregnant. Both times I got pregnant with the boys I was not at an ideal weight or health, and because I indulged in way to many donuts boxes of donuts, I became very huge, and unhealthy. I don't want to go back to that. I am so close to my goal I can feel it. [I like to tell myself that 50 pounds is close].

So all that to say to myself, stay on course. Lose the weight. Complete your goals. Grow closer to God in this time. Then baby time.

I was born to be a wife and mother. Ever since I was little I wanted a huge family. I had day dreams about a house so full we all slept nestled together. I always hoped my Mom was pregnant and going to surprise me. Seriously. The mind of a little girl! I was not an only child but my sister was 4 years older than me and had her own cool life.

Ask anyone. I've always adored babies! So when I met my best friend in junior high, Kayla, and her family had 7 kids. I always wanted to be there! One of many reasons I fell in love with my husband [who is Kayla's oldest brother]. :)

Davey and I can honestly say we want many children. We always said 8. After we had the boys people would say, "Still want 8 kids!??". Honestly... I still want a big family! I think 5 would be perfect, but I would be happy with 4-8 kids. Or how ever many the Lord allows us. :)

I had yesterday off of training. It was nice. We went to a friends for dinner and that was encouraging, and nice to get out of the house. Today: Yoga & Cycle {hopefully, if I can get a spot}.

You know what is so hard about Triathlon training?! You have... not 1, not 2, but 3 sports in which you have to master and train for! Very time consuming and tiring. I am pumped, and
M O T I V A T E D to get it done though. In a couple of months training will be very hard.

Well, I've got laundry to do, Ground Turkey Spaghetti sauce in the crock pot for dinner to attend to, and lunch to feed the boys.

Thanks for reading my depressing post ;)

Love, The Curvy Housewife

2 miles? No way!

Yup! I ran 2 W H O L E miles with out stopping last night! I am amazed at what I can do, when I really had no clue I could. I wish I would have known this before the 5K at Tri Carson. I now know, that I can run a whole 5K. Last night I felt great after the 2. I could have done more. I was glad to stop, don't get me wrong. I did the 2 miles in 27 minuets. Faster than Thursday's run. But still very very slow. Thats a 13:30 mile. S L O W. Davey ran 3 miles in 28:30. He's so fast! And he was pushing a stroller. Let's just say he's really sore today. Me, I feel good. I will ice my knees just to be safe though.
We decided to go to the track as a family. It was so much fun. The boys L O V E it. They run with us until they are tired then go in the stroller, and Shane yells "Go Mommy!!" the whole time. :) Then on our cool down lap after we finished running, they run the lap. Shane did 1/2 mile total and Cody did 1/4 mile. Shane says, "Mommy, I run too!". It's so cute.
I just find it amazing that when I am at the gym on the treadmill (let's say last week) I am dying for my 3 mins to be up so I can walk. That's why I didn't think I could run far. But during Tri Carson, I ran the last leg of the run (a little less than a mile) and was surprised I could do it with out dying. So it sparked my curiosity. I am not one to think "It's all in your head" like Davey does. BUT I set my mind up that I was going to run two laps around my neighborhood Thursday night and I did and last night I just determined to do 2 miles, and I did. There is a mental aspect, being confident and knowing you can, really makes your body able. I was under estimating myself on running. I am so glad I stopped enabling myself to do less than what I can! I was really stressed about being behind on C25K, but now I'm ahead.. yay :)
Thursday and Friday I did cycle in the morning and ran at night. Confession: I have N O T been tracking my points :/ but I have not been eating a lot.. I hope.
I don't want to make this a super long post, but there are many things going on in our lives I have not posted about yet. So many burdens, blessings, and growth.
About a month ago now, Davey got laid off. There is just no more work for his company right now, and in the near future. He was one of the last one's to be laid off. I won't bore you all with all our details and goals for career/ministry/finances ect. but I will say, looks like Davey is going to get on with the Union with his Dad and work on a 2 month project, 2 hours away from home. This job would be a huge blessing seeing it's government paid job and Davey has not worked in 4 weeks. It would also be very hard because he will be gone 6 days a week, only home Saturday nights and Sunday days. He worked a job far away for a few months last year and it was so horrible being apart. I dreaded it so much. I miss him, get so depressed, feel unprotected, and lonely. I will have so much work just for myself, i.e: boys, house, puppies, big dogs, yard work, selling the puppies, bills, ect. Of course, I am thinking about how I won't be able to work out as much either. If I want to take the boys to the gym, it cost $6 for 2 hours. If I only go 3 times a week that's $18 a week, and $72 a month. Plus I am just getting certified in a week, and how will I pursue that with him gone? What if I get a chance to sub? I won't have the time or ability to work on my songs and rides to have prepared in case I get a chance.
What about running outside? Do you know how hard it is to run with a double stroller that is not a jogging stroller? Really hard. It's doable though, I know. And how bout riding bikes outside? Nope. I don't have a bike trailer, and even if I do, there really aren't roads here safe enough or bike paths I would pull my boys on. I will say, I have already pleaded my argument for a bike trailer and a jogging stroller though for while he is gone. Enough complaining. I am just going to suck it up and try not be a baby, and do what I need to do.
What's the big deal you might ask? Well, I have a schedule all written out for 4 months, Dec-March to train for an Olympic distant triathlon for next season. I don't have one in mind yet, but was hoping to do a few sprints and maybe an Olympic, then I want a baby. [:)] So in my head I have it all planned out, but why am I getting so upset? I already know, God's plans are different then our own sometimes! I'll just train the best I can while Davey is gone. That's all I can really do. If you have not noticed, I am always a worry wart. I stress about things I can't control. I need the Lord's help in this area.
Anyone have any ideas on how to train with the boys I'd love to hear them! :)