Weigh In 4/28/12

Last week 206.8
This week 203.9

Ever have scale dilemmas?? Well, my Weight Watchers meeting is at 7:30 AM Saturday mornings.  I went to bed at 12:30 AM. I slept through my alarm!!

I woke up, brushed my teeth, got dressed, and headed to the meeting. I was really bummed because I couldn't get Reece to nurse well before I left, and I was in a hurry. He's been sleeping through the night...need I say more?? Definitely had several ounces in there.
When I got on the scale at WW it read, 205.6. Down 1.2 from last week. I was ok with that. Not thrilled since I was really good and worked hard this week. But I accepted it.

I decided to WI when I got home after I fed Reece just to see.  I usually ALWAYS count my home scale since I never want any confusion, but since I re-joined WW I wanted to go by their scale. 
After I fed him I was shocked to see 203.9.  Wow! That's the lowest I've been since having Reece!! Whoot! That also brings me to a total of 40.1 lbs lost since July 2009. Since I've always been using my scale, I know I really have lost this weight.  But my dilemma is, do I keep weighing in at my house after WW or should I just weigh at WW and use their scale?? I mean if there is a .5-1 pound difference than next week when I weigh there and it if it says 203.0 that's 2 pounds according to them! But only .9 according to my scale...ya know?? What should I do??

Kimberlynn and I have become accountability partners. It's really helping! We spoke last night on the phone and it was great. :) We were talking about how freeing it is to not weigh every day. Honestly I want to weigh in one time a week on one scale...so I suppose I should hope Reece eats before I leave for WI than count WW scale right?? But if I did that today than I wouldn't be as motivated as I am now. Know what I mean?? Ugh I hate the scale.
D I L E M M A.

Anyways. The meeting was really motivating today. One lady there had lost 48 pounds! Another hit -70 this morning and spoke about it a little bit. I really like what someone said today....

   
So I made peace with the 1.2 pounds. Although I was REALLY hoping to get below where I was on Easter Weekend.  {According to my scale I did, see how this is confusing?} 
I'm thrilled to lose 2.9 pounds or 1.2 pounds. Either way I lost. 

I am changing.  I really am.  I am getting full faster. My cravings have changed a lot. I want results. 

Here's to a good week for all of us.

Love, The Curvy Housewife

What's working.

Not sure why I am blogging so much lately.  I guess I just have so much in my mind! This weeks been great. I am staying with in my WW points everyday and so far I've gotten 20 Activity points!! Generally you get 1 point for every 10 mins so....that's a lot of minuets I've worked out so far. :)

Did I tell you I ran 5.25 miles the other day outside while pushing Reece in the jogger, with out walking once?? Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah yeah yeah.  {Please don't ask me why I always have to quote Dori}. I was so flippen excited about that. I felt GREAT.  I listened to Jillian Michaels Podcast and time flew by. It R E A L L Y restored my running confidence. I'm no longer worried about the 13.1! I have to thank my $60 old treadmill because running on it is HARD. So running outside seems so easy. Yay.

What's working for me....

1. Not having access to a gym is actually OK! I was worried. But I LOVE having a treadmill, I know I can get in some miles with out leaving the house.  I also like my work out DVD's.  Another thing is we started running at this nice park that has a big pond. It's just under a mile around the whole park. We really enjoy running it and it goes by fast.

2. I started weight training this week as well. Today will be day two, and I like it.

3. I like what I am eating. I am in the grove of easily preparing foods and having them ready and accessible. I made home made Buffalo Chicken and it is D E L I S H. I made extra and ate some for lunch yesterday. Eating foods I like is really important to me.

4. When I want a snack, I've been eating fruit. Berries, watermelon, cantaloupe ect. It is 0 points and it is really filling!

5. I am drinking more water.  You always hear, "It's water weight!!" well what does that mean??!! I just found out it means that if you aren't drinking enough your body will HOLD on to your water because it doesn't know when you will get more. Amazing.

6. Not weighing myself. I am excited for weigh in, but also kinda wanting to go longer with out weighing myself.  It really does a huge number on me mentally. I feel free with out weighing, but at the same time I want to know that I am making progress.

Well that's all for today. Thanks for reading! xoxo

Love, The Curvy Housewife

The Fog of Obesity

Have you ever been driving and when you arrive home you think, "How did I just get here?". You were either listening to the radio, in deep thought, or on the phone (tsk tsk!) and you just somehow made it home with out even thinking about where you were going.

I think that's exactly how someone becomes obese.  It's like, one day you see a picture of yourself and can't believe that's you, or you try on a shirt that use to fit perfect and you can't button it at all. I know for me, I was definitely in a fog. When I first started gaining weight I was 18.  I remember my evil boss telling me, "Look at your jacket, you can't even button it."  I HONESTLY hadn't even realized that, or at least didn't pay attention to it.  I also received a lot of, "Feel my abs, now feel yours. And I'm forty." yeah...evil.

 I struggle with thinking that I actually am obese. And that it does effect my health. Yes. It's true. Often I think, "I'm not that fat.  I have all the time I need to get healthy, nothing will happen. I'm young. Nothing is happening right now to my health.." ect ect. Then I see my reflection in a window and am shocked. Or a picture on my camera.  Or I need gallbladder surgery.

I believe that once you see clearly, what is ACTUALLY happening right now...that's when you can change.  I speaking to myself here.

We watched "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead" a couple weeks ago and I couldn't help but thank God for how He created us, that our bodies are made to heal itself.  If you have a cut, you clean it, then it heals it self. If you brake your arm, the doctor sets it, but it heals itself.  If your obese, and feed your body healthy clean food,  it will heal it self. AMAZING. 

BUT....some things get damaged from being obese and can have consequences that last. Such as joint injuries, damaged organs, and according to Bill Clinton on "Killer at Large" he was an obese child and has heart problems today from wear and tear on it. I am looking into this more as I have not found much research on it.

Here is a list of the most common consequences from obesity from the CDC website.  Obesity is now called, an epidemic.  Scary huh?

• Coronary heart disease
• Type 2 diabetes
• Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)
• Hypertension (high blood pressure)
• Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
• Stroke
• Liver and Gallbladder disease
• Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
• Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)
• Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility)

WHOA.  The fog is lifted.  I am seeing clearly right now. The truth is, any of these things could happen to me or you if we have a BMI over 30.

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Biggest Loser Audition

Back in 2009, when I was just writing this blog as a book, and I was just starting on this weight loss quest I sent in an audition DVD to the Biggest Loser. I was about 235 lbs than.  I just watched it this morning. Talk about humbling. Oh. My. Goodness. To see me so vulnerable. So ready, yet still lost. Is really well, humbling! And very over whelming. And I feel ashamed I ever let my self get this way.

I have come really far since then.  I am NOT the same person. I am educated. I know so much about health. We eat cleaner* aka: I make food from scratch, and we try to limit our intake of processed foods. I've ran 13.1 freakin miles. I've done THREE triathlons. I rode my bike 26 miles of of rolling hills next to the beautiful pacific ocean. I've done 5k's and 10k's.  I've ran 8 miles on a treadmill. I lost nearly 60 lbs on my own (gained half back while pregnant w Reece). We juice EVERY.SINGE.DAY. Meaning, hubs, I and the older boys drink a homemade, vitamin packed, cancer & disease fighting, pure, healthy juice every day.  My husband runs now! It is a life style. Does that mean weight melts off on it's own? No. But I can't imagine going back to that girl.  In a way though....I'm still there. I'm only maybe 30 lbs lighter. I still hate seeing pictures of me.  I am still FAT.  I still have food strongholds.  I still have a looonnnnngggg way to go.

I was on the phone with my sister the other day.  She has also really struggled with her weight. She's gone up and down a lot over the years. I worry about her because she lives really far from all of us and it's not like we can hang out every day walk together.  I asked her if she'd want to send in an audition with me.  They recently changed their weight limit to having at least 85 pounds to lose. Technically I could lose 85 and be at a "healthy" weight for my height.
My sister's husband has been to Iraq 3 times in 6 years. All lasting 12-15 months each.  He's not the only one that was effected by that. They have a lot to work out.  If she wants to audition I would do it with her.
Although I am REALLY REALLY not sure if I could leave my boys. They are my whooooolllleee life.  I would be depressed and cry every day. Especially leaving the baby would be like torture.  You all know how big I am on breastfeeding. Nope couldn't do it. Makes me sick thinking about being away from my husband and boys. Listen to me ramble on like they would ever pick us!!  I don't know. It would really have to be God's will for me to do it. Obviously. My sister has 3 kids as well. Who would take care of our 6 kids when our husbands are working? It truly is a sacrifice for the whole family. Is it worth it though?? All of America basically sees you in your skivvies.  They also all see all your demons you face.  Would you do it?

COULD you do it? What are your thoughts? I know we won't be picked. We haven't even sent in a DVD. Ha! But I guess you never know....

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Weigh In & 13.1 training

Last week: 207.2
Yesterday: 206.8

I was expecting a bad number. I weighed myself everyday last week. I need to face this.....I reviewed my WW online tracker, and you know what I found out?? I went over my points every.singe.day. AND ate all of my weekly points. And I wonder why not a better loss? pshhh. I am RIDICULOUS. I get 46 WW points which is usually about 2,100 calories, yet I still go over. Serious self loathing over here right now.

Anyways. Since Saturday's are my weigh in days I want to eat some of my weekly points Saturday night for my "free meal". Last night we had pizza. We got home from church today and I warm up the left over pizza for my boys for lunch. Unaware I took like 3 bites!! Ok maybe I was aware, but it was like automatic. So after my boys ate what they wanted, I gave the rest to the dog.  Better it goes to waste than to waist remember? I am DETERMINED to not eat over my points this week.  And NO NO NO weighing myself all week until Saturday WI.

 

I am praying for God's strength everyday to stay with in my points. And for His help running.  Oh running. sigh.  Training for this 13.1 is so much harder than the last one! I am frustrated. Depressed. Even anxious about it. The furthest I've ran with out walking postpartum is 5K.  The furthest run/walk I've done postpartum is just over 4 miles.  Remember the days when I could bust out a 7 mile run on the treadmill and feel amazing? Where are those days now!??
 I feel like I need a really good long run to boost my confidence. But I'm nervous I will fail. I am pretty sure I will have to walk a lot of this half marathon.  Which means I for sure will not beat my last time, but that's the least of my worries. I just want to finish.  My mom will be there and possibly my in-laws. (Grandma want to come? It's in Aptos June 2nd!) Everyone say hi to my grandma! She's a faithful reader :)  I want to do my best for all of them!!!

Really feeling quite down about myself lately. I need to just quit whining though because I have a BIG God that is going to help me. All I have to do is ask. Why do I often NOT ask?? I have an amazing supportive husband and family.  And my 3 wonderful, amazing boys. Oh I love them so so much. They certainly are worth every roll and stretch mark. 

Speaking of boys. I have yet to introduce the word FAT into my boys vocab.  I am terrified of them figuring out what it means. Today at church we walk by this very large round short man and Shane (4) points at him and starts busting up laughing. Then he yells, "That man looks so funny."
*Blush* run away!!  I could hear my husband behind me trying to hold in laughter. Poor round man. I explained to Shane that is rude. He honestly thought he was a funny man, like the man meant to look funny. Oh the innocence of a child.

Here's to a fresh week. Doing good today so far. Thanks for reading!

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Paying for it.....

I made the mistake of weighing myself this morning even though weigh in is tomorrow.  Since the Nutella disaster, I gained almost a pound.  ahjjlkdjjdjahjennaej!!!!!! That's me screaming my head off.  I wanted to cry.  Then I wanted to eat more Nutella.  But the rational side of me said, "You have WW meeting tomorrow with weigh in, don't do any MORE damage!"  Glad I listened, but it was tough.  I was ready to get a ladder out to get that Nutella I threw out of reach. 
Doesn't it stink when you choose to do something you know you shouldn't how long you pay for it??
I mean look at this.....
 
Sheesh. I need to remember this.. one Tbsp of nutella is like walking for 10 mins!
Really puts things into perspective. I don't want a temptation to get the best of me and throw away all my hard work.

Love, The Curvy Housewife

photo credit: me :)

Trigger Foods

Weight Watchers talks a lot about trigger foods. Kelly just wrote about hers the other day. I really hadn't thought of mine though. I thought I knew what I could "handle". Ummmmm WRONG.

Turns out I can NOT handle Nutella. Yesterday I ate almost half the jar by myself. I completely threw yesterday out the door. Sigh.

This morning, I was in the cupboard getting my cereal when I saw it. Sitting there all innocent. So I had a bite. Than another. And another. I quickly realized my plan to do really well today was slipping away.

So I thought about throwing it away in the trash outside. But c'mon, I'm in my pj's. I can't walk outside. So I look around, I want another bite...but I close the lid and throw it into the highest cupboard in the kitchen so I can't reach it. Fewww. Maybe I can still salvage the day. Which I did.

Ohhhhh and guess what?! I got a TREADMILL! whoot! Such an answer to prayer! It's old, ok sure. But it works. And we got it for $60! This is saving us money right now I promise. Somehow, someway, it is. I know it. I ran 3 miles on it today. It did feel a little tougher than the newer ones at the gym, but it WORKS and I got to watch a whole episode of "I use to be Fat".

Did I mention how last week we were running on the treadmills at the gym when I was stopped by the very stern day care lady. She pointed out to me that Reece still had two months before he can go into the day care. Whoops. So long gym. Over a month ago a 15 year old girl, Sierra, was kidnapped from around the corner from my in-laws. She still hasn't been found, and this was in the morning, with day light! I'm now a little nervous to run outside alone.
No excuses though we have a half marathon coming up!! So treadmill it was. I love you Craigslist. Thank GOD for providing it!!

Did good today despite my Nutella fiasco. A very healthy turkey meat loaf is in the oven right now. I am currently munching on a carrot, but I'm not gonna lie...I want to dip it in Nutella.

What's your trigger food??

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Um, why am I still fat?

Sometime last night I realized...it's been almost 3 years since I started on this weight loss "journey". {I'm going to stop calling it that because really it's a life style..} I can say that now my husband, children and I ARE much healthier and make normal healthy everyday decisions. Like to not buy donuts on a regular basis. For example.

Ok so, maybe I was always on a weight loss quest since I was a toddler. {yes it's true. My dad was a professional body builder when I was little and "we" always counted our calories and worked out. I wanted to be just like him!}. I've told you all before how I'd wake up before kindergarten and do Denise Austin's aerobics on the TV. #90sgirlsrule

Even all through high school I would try to lose weight even though I was a whopping 140 pounds. My biggest complaint yet one of my best features were my legs. They've always been big & muscular "gymnast" legs. But I always had cellulite right below my butt on my thighs and I detested them. I felt like I was the only "fat" cheerleader out there. (not true).
Anyways..... let's take a quick look back over the last almost 3 years and see.....
WHY I'M STILL FAT!
July 2009~ two months postpartum after having Cody, our 2nd son. Starting weight: 244 lbs. (ohmyguacamole).
May 2010~ found out we were pregnant, very excited.
July 2010~ lost our sweet baby 12 weeks 6 days pregnant. weight:208 lbs.
Feb 6 2011~ ran first 1/2 marathon at 187 pounds
April 4 2011~ found out we were pregnant with Reece!! on our drive to Tennessee. Very excited. weight: 193 pounds (don't ask me how I remember all my weights).
June 2011~ 4 months pregnant. weight 184 lbs, lowest weight since before my first son Shane. (I was so sick from gallstones).
July 2011~ Had surgery, so much better, eating again, not sick, happy pregnant lady.
December 5 2011~ went into labor, weight: 228 lbs
December 8 2011~ weight: 214 lbs
April 2012, week before Easter, weight: 204.4 lowest since giving birth to Reece
Monday after Easter 2012, weight: 209 pounds. (who gains 5 pounds in one weekend?)
Today, April 17 2012, after the Easter festivities and a week of hard work on WW, weight: 205.9

Feeewwww that was hard to write. It's hard to read too. I feel like after almost 3 years I should have been at my goal looonnngggg ago. Granted I was pregnant for about a year of that time, but still.

I am TIRED OF IT. If I would have not went crazy Easter weekend and gained 5 pounds I would be down even more probably. And yes even if I lose slowly, although frustrating, I will NOT quit!

I am loving Weight Watchers. I lost about 3 pounds this week. I still feel like that's not enough since I was 204.4. I want to get under that. I want to get under 200...AGAIN.

I will tell you another secret. My brother in law is getting married July 7, (to the sweetest girl btw) and some friends from high school are going to be there. Now, I really don't care about what these people think of me, but let me explain....I saw some of them at my heaviest weight after Cody. So. Very. Embarrassing. For them to remember me as a 140 lb cheerleader senior year, than 6 years later see me when I am home visiting 100 pounds heavier...that's just unacceptable.

I know I won't be at goal by then...but I want to work hard to see how far I can come in that time. Can I also just say that I have an amazing husband that has supported me and stuck by me through all this and I feel like HE deserves to be seen with a healthy wife. Not one that's let herself go. I want him to be like...."BOOYA old peeps. Look at my smokin' wife. Yeah. She's with me." Ya know?

Once again, I want to tell all you wonderful readers (and I do love you all and thank you all for commenting!! They mean so much!) that I AM COMMITTED.

OK. End of Rant. Thanks for reading!

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Pssssst.

I have a secret.

No, it's not that I've gained 4 pounds since last Friday.....

It's not that my couch is covered in laundry while I write this post.....

It's not that I wear a tummy tucker to church. every. single. Sunday.....{shhhhh}

It's not that I can't handle chocolate chips in my house....or Easter candy...{what Easter candy?}

It's not that I hardly ever make my bed....

It's not that I'm on my 3rd cup of coffee for the day....

It's not that I am worried about this half marathon coming up.....

It's not that I'm worried about telling this secret, that I may not follow through with it....

It's that I have a new goal. A goal that to some people may seem silly....but to me seems awesome. I want to become a Weight Watchers Life Time member!!! Why??? Because it's a life style. NOT a diet. You become a life time member when you reach w/in 2lbs of your goal weight.

I'm not naive enough to think I won't need to keep the healthy habits I've developed while getting to goal weight. What better way than to attend meetings for free? You may think it's silly, but like I said in the last post, I'm all in. I am COMMITTED. So to me, its brilliant.


What's a goal you have??

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Committed

Committed.

That is a BIG word. Wow. With commitment I could get a lot done!! Other than being a wife and mom, me committing to something is VERY difficult. I hate to go back on my word or to not follow through with something. So I don't commit to begin with.

Since I have been losing .4 - 1 lb a week for the last month, I frustratingly wanted to figure out why. I read/heard/ or came up with several reasons: 1. you aren't eating enough since you are breastfeeding 2. you are eating too much 3. muscle weighs more than fat 4. just a bad week... ect.

You all KNOW I love My Fitness Pal. I am a hardcore advocate for it. It works. In fact, counting calories and Weight Watchers have been the only success I've ever had!!!

Since I am breastfeeding and do not plan on quitting that any time soon, I needed to come up with something that is bfing friendly, where I can see success. I've been thinking, praying and pondering this since weigh in on Friday. Luckily my hubby said he supports me in what ever I want to do, as long as I'm COMMITTED.

I was/am committed to My Fitness Pal. I was doing really well with tracking and staying with in my calories. And in NO WAY is it My Fitness Pal's fault the scale wasn't moving.
My friend suggested I try the Zig Zag diet (staggering your caloric intake so you are not eating the same amount every day). I think it does work, it makes since, especially when you hit a plateau. I may try it one day.

Sadly the last four days have reaped a hard consequence. I am up 4 pounds. O. M. Goodness. That's basically a months of hard work. Hoping it goes away soon.. you know bloat and what not. {I wish}.

So I've decided to COMMIT to something. Something I know works, that is Breastfeeding friendly, that has a great supportive community, that has a reputation for success. WEIGHT WATCHERS. Kelly and I have been at this at the same time for a while and she is currently doing AMAZING. She's been doing WW the whole time.
So, I paid for a monthly pass and got the second month free. Last time I did WW I was the exact starting weight I am now, and I lost 14 pounds, and it's what got me into Onderland. Some ridiculously annoying name for a number we all want to see on the scale..somewhere I want to be again. 9 pounds to go for me until I see that number.

I'm all in. I am committed. I will keep going, even if it is only a pound a week. I am already in the grove of it since I was doing My Fitness Pal. Which by the way I will still do to track my progress and workouts. I'm anxious, a little frustrated that I have to re-learn everything, nervous it won't work, but mostly EXCITED. My weigh in's will be Saturday's now since I can only for sure go to the 7:30 am meetings.

Stay tuned for some kick butt.

Love, The Curvy Housewife

Nuff Said.

Only lost .4 pounds this week. I worked HARD. I was good. I didn't eat after 6:30 pm. So right now all I want to do is stuff my face with all our left over food. My boys plates they leave half full. Their delicious Easter treats they leave around. I can't possibly throw it away. That's a waste. Well....

Love, The Curvy Housewife

photo by Me :)