Sigh. Idk. Sigh.

.2 loss this week. 

I honestly have no clue what's up with my body. Every morning I wake up feeling like I'm  retaining so much water. So obviously the scale is going to be up... But I've tried everything this week. No cardio. No working out. No sweating. More water. Less water. More rest. Nothing is helping. 

Every night my feet and now my knees ache, feel tight and tired and my hands feel tight, and I am exhausted. I'm starting to get freaked out... 

I have a doctors apt but it's not until Oct 21. So, I thought "I need to go on Whole 30 again and see if it's my diet". Except whole 30 is no dairy and I know I'm ok with dairy, so after much consideration starting tomorrow I'm going to do the 21 Day Primal Challenge by Mark Sisson. It's basically whole 30 but with some dairy included. And it's only 21 days ;-) this isn't to lose weight per se but I am hoping that, but to hopefully help this issue my body is having. I've read it could be gout, rheumatoid arthritis (scary!), fibromyalgia, heart issues, gah you know hopefully I am still alive to see the dr! Jk ho you know Google. But seriously, hoping cutting sugar and processed foods and corn helps (already eat wheat and legume free). I'll keep you all posted. Goodnight xo 

Throw Back Thursday

Five years ago today I finished my 2nd Triathlon. 

I have this app called "Shoebox" (best app ever!!) it shows you what you were doing on this day x amount of years ago. When I saw this I wondered how much I weighed there. So I went back to my old blog posts and I was exactly 200 lbs here! Only 14 lbs  heavier than I was last weigh in. This is also the time I started having major stomach pain (now I know due to wheat and too much sugar). 

 I've had two more boys since 

Then. Back then I was doing strictly cardio and now I do lots of weights. Here is me today 

I have mixed emotions when I see old photos of myself. Embarrassment. Shock. Like I didn't think of myself as big as I use to be. Also endearment because I have fond memories of this 6 year journey. I've learned and grown so much.

Monday I did Body Combat (kick boxing) and heavy weights.

The next day my hands and feet were puffy (retaining water) (again), this has been happening for a month or so. I was getting really concerned, still kinda am. I have been drinking 90 ounces a day. So Tuesday-today I did little to no cardio, just yoga and weights. Also I sat in the sauna those three days and the swelling has gotten better and I feel like I released that water (puffiness was only at night and I'm the morning). If it keeps happening I'll see my doctor. 

Weigh in tomorrow so I'll be back hopefully with good results :) 

Down another pound! 😀

Yippee! 186 today! Almost down 10 lbs from that crazy 10 lbs weight gain in July. Fewee. Then only 5 more pounds until I reach 181 which will be my lowest weight in like 3 years. Goals! (I was 182 earlier this year but honestly I'm way less fluffy then I was at that point!) 

And here I was upset all week because the scale wasting moving. I *seriously* need to stop weighing everyday!!! Anyways... After doing more research I am feeling great about IF!!! I did make some more changes pretty much right away after my first post a week and a half ago. I decided to not do Keto. I know you guys I KNOW im all over the place. I just started sticking with flexible dieting (I'm super flexible lol...I am focusing on reaching protein goal and staying under my calories. I've been right around 1600-1800 calories depending on how hard I work out). AND doing IF and bam. Results are coming. I can see my shoulders and quads are coming along nicely :) yay! Ditching body pump was a good move for me. Even though I do miss it!! This was today. Still have a super long way to go but I'll take what I can get! Happy Friday! 

Down 4 Lbs!

Happy to weigh in yesterday and be at 187.8! Yay! Then I was so good yesterday and totally expected another loss today even if small but nothing. But seriously I HAVE to stop weighing every day. Some days weight won't come off some days they will. I notice that when I have a tough workout like yesterday (kickboxing and weights) I won't lose. I think it's water retention even though I drank 90 oz yesterday. When my muscles are sore I am a little puffy. Hope that's normal 😁 

This morning I am going to the gym just to walk on the treadmill and do Yoga. So hard for me not to do an intense work out but I've been reading doing those everyday is not effective. I LOVE kickboxing so I choose to do it. I am also gonna try Zumba on Friday 😁💃🏼

After reading Staci's (Skinny on Staci..sorry I can't link I am on my phone!) post last week on intermitted fasting I decided to add it to my routine. I did this the month before I got married and lost 16 lbs. 

so far so good. I think it helps and I feel better letting my body have 14 hours to digest foods and rest! IF is when you don't eat for 14 hours straight and eat in a 10 hour window. So I am going to do 4:30pm-6:30am fast a couple days and days we eat together as a family and Davey doesn't have school 8pm-10am.

I am on the hunt for a perfect camera bag! I don't want to spend a fortune yet my current one that I love (Jo Totes) is too small. I ordered a full Frame camera finally EEEKKK! A Nikon D750 I saved and did NOT buy ON CREDIT🙌🏼 (that's huge for me!). So that w my five lenses and my now back up camera my beloved bag is too small.The  larger one I want from Jo Totes is sold out :( I'm so busy next month w shoots I'm so thankful but need a new bag ASAP. I have big dreams and prayers for 2016 as well. God answered specific prayers he really does! 

Which reminds me to PRAY for wisdom and strength to lose weight! Praying for a specific number on Friday for weigh in. Will keep you all posted xo 

Enough Already

Hey guys. If there's anyone that still reads! Heads up! Im gonna be blogging again on the regular (for reals) so go ahead and click the follow button :) 

I'm super frustrated. That's why I haven't blogged. Here's why: my weight has fluctuated up and down 5-10 pounds no matter WHAT I do. Wait really? Really... I'm consistently working my butt off in the gym. I'm stronger and FASTER than ever. Seriously though! 191.8 today?! Dang it! BUT YOU KNOW....

Here's over a year of my weight records. In June of 2014 I cut out gluten, I started whole 30, and I lost 25 pounds very quickly. Since then I got down to 182 and then couldn't lose an ounce. This summer we moved TWICE and I GAINED 10 pounds! GAH WHAT! I worked hard to lose 5 pounds now it goes up and down 2-4 pounds and won't budge. 

I haven't lost inches since April.. but I can see muscles in my shoulders, biceps and my quads getting bigger which I love :)

NO I don't believe I should stop lifting. Scientifically muscles will NOT push out your fat or make a women bulky we don't have enough testosterone... ect ect. What I need to do is seriously look back: beIng %100 honest which hurts to do lol because I can convince myself I'm doing well. HAVE I been on point with my diet/ eating this last year?? No. Not for any length of time that could hold lasting results that is. On and off I am consistent... w my off times becoming longer. What i'm doing is maintaining pretty well with the exception of July. 

I tried counting macros for a week in January and it was so much food so I stopped. I decided to do WW again but was too lazy to count points so I cancelled it. Then I finally found a small grove. I liked eating low carb. Less hassle for me, I prefer fats, I FEEL good on low carb. I called this "Flexible Dieting" because I was still counting my calories and trying to hit protein but eating lower carbs. I liked this. It fit my lifestyle. I would do well a few days then a few days mess it up. Or I'd do good a whole 7-10 days, drop some pounds then go off track for a week. 

I went back to low carb/"flexible dieting" a couple weeks ago and didn't see pounds dropping with in the first couple days (I know!) so I was convinced it wasn't working anymore. I've been wandering around aimlessly LOL trying to find what will work for me that I can do that I ENJOY. 

The truth is all of these would work if I just picked one and was CONSISTENT!! In a Flexible Dieting group I'm on someone mentioned they are doing Cyclical Keto Dieting. It's basically low carb all week (which I like) then one day if a carb refeed to restore your glycerin stores and fuel fat loss for the next week. Some people might think this is poop but I'm gonna give it a go. I can have treats the day I plan with out going off for several days. I just HAVE to be consistent. I could be at my goal already by now!!!! I'm gathering lots of low carb recipes and making a grocery list and I'm ACTUALLY gonna food prep. What! I know. This is probably key to success that I never do 😁 

Ps I've been doing Yoga, along w running (ran TWO miles straight at 11 minute miles!!!) and heavy lifting. Getting stronger and I love it. I want to lose at least 40 more pounds. Even 30 would be fantastic. So there is it. All my dirty weight laundry out in the open. Let's be consistent and do this! 👊🏼❤️

 

Long time!

I have no meant to neglect the blog but life. I'm taking two nursing summer pre reqs that keep me really busy! 

Today I weighed in at 188 :( I've been good on and off for months but haven't gotten below 182. In two months I turn 30. I want to enter my 30ths stronger than ever!  Strong I am getting! I deadlift 90 lbs now :) stay tuned I will post update soon :) ps I fit into a size 10 pants now! 

SLO Half Marathon & it's been a long road

I did it! My 3rd half marathon in the books! It was SUPER windy and very hilly 13 miles. 😁 

I finished in 3 hour 12 minuets. Just 3 minuets shy of a PR! If I wouldn't have stopped to use the bathroom at mile 4 and wait for 8 minuets for the porta potty I would have had a personal best! Dang it!! My running buddy did awesome she finished in 2:45! 

I plan to keep running and work on speed now. 

Here are some pics :) 

The last two miles I was DONE. All I could do was speed walk. And I was speed walking very fast lol. One marathon group passed me and said "there's one serious speed Walker!" Haha! I ran the last 1/4 mile and the boys and hubby were cheering me on at the finish line it made me a tear up. ❤️ 

I was reading some old blog posts about my first few races. I started in 2011 so wow it's been FOUR YEARS!!! Five years since I've had this blog and since trying to lose weight. 

I get down on myself that I still can NOT get out of the 180's but I got this old pic in my inbox "this day 4 years ago" my first ever triathlon. Look at me from the back! I was 215 in that pic. 

That's just so embarrassing. But here I am from the back last night at the gym after Body pump and spin. 

Yes it's taking me years to reach my goal weight but it's ok. I had two babies and one miscarriage in those years. 

I don't clog <<< hahah auto correct! BLOG** often because I feel like nothing's happening but I'm holding my breath..I think I finally may be doing something that works. And %90 of it is consistency. Which is hard for everyone but God's helping me be consistent. I'll let you know ASAP :) 😘

Sticking w It

Surprise surprise when I saw some muscles coming in! I mean...what?! This was exactly what I needed to see the other morning. Even though the scale is NOT budging I'm gonna stick with Flexibie dieting because I can eat and I'm losing inches. So I must get over the dang scale!!!! 

It was/am so reluctant to do it because it's 1800 cals a day! But I've been eating that much, plus trying to really hit protein, and inches are falling off! 3.5 off my thighs since January!! How is that possible when I haven't lost a lb?! Muscle! I'm so excited!!! I've logged my food into my fitness pal now for 36 days. I'm just gonna chill off the scale and keep doing what I've been doing (eating, weights, running). 

The Curse of the 180's

Sigh. This is the weight I've been stuck at for 10 years. Well I've weighed a lot more than I do now but I really can't get out of the 180's (except when I got married I went down to 160 and when I was pregnant w Boy 4 & got really sick and couldn't eat for 10 days I got down to 165). 

When I got pregnant w Boy 1 I was 187. 

I was 220 when I got pregnant w Boy 2. I was again 187 when I got pregnant with Boy 3. And then right around 175-180 when I got pregnant w Boy 4. 

A few months ago I was 182!!!!! And now I'm back up to 189 and I'm TRYING SO HARD to lose. I'm running so much, tons of gym time, walking, ect.  I will go down to 187, then back up 2lbs. I could punch my scale in the face. 

I've lost almost 3 inches off my thighs and two off my stomach since January. Wearing a size 12-14. But I just can't get past the number. I don't even know what to do. So in the last few months I've tried counting calories/macros pretty faithfully. Stayed the same. I've tried not eating after 5, that usually works! I've stayed the same. I've tried Weight Watchers. Stayed the same. Carb cycling lasted a minuet I admit I couldn't stick to that (at least while half marathon training). I'm so frustrated and want to give up. I need momentum. :( I just need to see something work. It's super frustrating because if I stay the same no matter what then why try? When I *know* I'm getting stronger & inches are what matter but...... 

Boy my last few blog posts sure have been discouraging and like, "Get it together woman!!" 

I will. I'm praying God helps me and gives me wisdom. 

Update & plan to bust Plateau!

Hello, it's been a good while...sorry bout that. You wouldn't believe how busy life is ! Overwhelming too. And emotional. And stressful. Prayer, walking, and my hubby are what have kept me stable lately :) More on that soon. And it's good changes coming just very overwhelming. For now...lets talk weight loss. 

Good news! I'm down 2.5 inches in my thighs and down two pant sizes since Jan 1! 

I've been running LOTS of miles 

But the scale WILL NOT BUDGE AT ALL!!! I'm so frustrated. I've been super consistent for 3 weeks and still nothing. I'll be down two then right back up two. I think maybe running has to do with it, but I have to find a solution! I want to lose 30 more by my 30th birthday which is the end of August! Gah! So...

I've been doing some digging in about plateaus. 

Today I start Carb Cyclying. I've heard great things about it helping bust past a weight you can't get past. I'm going to try it for TWO weeks. And see if it helps at all. Here's what it will look like: 

Monday: low carb 

Tuesday: high carb 

Wednesday: low carb 

Thursday: low carb

Friday's: high carb 

Sat: low carb 

Sunday: high carb

I'll still be counting my calories/macros and staying under 1800. 

I'll keep Ya all posted!! 

Update

Well 2015 has not been my favorite year so far. Lots of trials for us one after another. 

Update on Shane: he seems to be all better PTL! If you follow me on IG or facebook you know we came home two weeks ago and he still couldn't use his left hand, he had arm pain and his feet "burned". All symptoms from damaged nerves in his spine. All the tests came back negative for autoimmune diseases THANK GOD! I used my oils on him when we got home and after a few days he had no more pain or symptoms and a few days later his hand was working! Praise the Lord. Google "mystery polio like virus paralysis in kids is puzzling doctors"...doctors never did know what he had but I truly believe it was this polio like virus. Even the MRI scans show damaged nerves in the kids in the same spots. 

Sadly, a few days after we got home my sweet cousin passed away. She was only 21, my heart broke for her parents and our whole family. I travelled up to davis for her funeral where SO many people showed up. I will miss you so much Cece. Death is so hard. I just saw her at Thanksgiving and I wish I would've hugged her longer and talked to her more :( 

The day after her funeral my husbands grandma had a very bad stroke. :( she is 77, and was so active, lively, sharp, independent, avid gardener and ate well. She had been feeling faint and weak for a few weeks prior... It's been so sad for the family to see her unable to walk and talk or move. We travelled up north this last weekend to see her. It was very humbling and sad. Praying she will recover!

We've been away from home for the past 4 weekends w everything :( I look forwarding to staying home for a good while and getting back on track. 

Today I weighed in at 186.3

I need to get out of the 180's!!!!

I have only worked out a handful of times since Jan!!! AWFUL! My half marathon is coming up! Today I am sitting down w my planner and highlighter and scheduling my runs and life. 

OH!!! BIG NEWS!!!!!!! 

W shane in The hospital, the Lord used that to speak to my heart (again!) about something. I felt like the Lord was telling me it's time....and that He wants me to be a nurse! My hubby has been encouraging me to do this for years. So when we got home I looked into it and the Lord just open doors and I start this month for my pre-Rex! I'm very excited and nervous I don't know how long the whole process will take, it will probably take me a while being a wife and mommy to 4 littles. And I am not quitting photography. Never! :) 

 

Shane in Children's Hospital

What happened?? 

(If we are friends on FB forgive me for repeating the story! Wanted to write it out once because people keep asking me what happened.) 

Last weekend We were in morgan hill visiting family and everything was fine. We were in the car on Monday driving to my sister in laws house and Shane (7) suddenly started crying saying his head, arms and back hurt. He was sweating a lot too. When we got to where we were going we gave him Advil and a shower and he went to sleep for a couple hours or so. When he woke up he called out to me and when was trying to get dressed he said he couldn't use his left hand, that "it didn't work."  We left to head home back to santa Maria and not long after being in the car Shane threw up quite a bit. 

After that he felt better but he couldn't use his hand at all. 

When we got to Santa Maria I took him to the ER, after a clear CT scan and X-rays of his arm they thought he maybe got hurt, a concussion and an injured nerve in his arm. When we were leaving the ER Monday night he fell in the hallway of the hospital. He couldn't walk right so I carried him to the car. He said he was just tired. (He really wanted to go home). He slept a good nine hours Monday but when he woke up Tuesday around 10:30am he fell in the bathroom and couldn't walk straight. I called his pediatrician and he said to take him back to the ER. 

He had an hour and fifteen minute long MRI which he was awake for. He was such a trooper I'm so proud of him. His MRI came back clear (as far as the ER dr was concerned). I went home to pick up some dinner w news that he would need to follow up with a pediatric neurologist this week. While at home getting dinner my husband called and said they were transferring him to Children's Hospital. I was shocked. My husband and Shane left at 5am this morning in an ambulance for Children's which is a 3hr drive.  

He still couldn't use his legs or his left hand and that's why they were so concerned he needed to see a pediatric neurologist ASAP.  I arrived this afternoon . My mom drove 3 hours up to watch Reece and Cody (I took Will). Last night a friend brought us dinner, and when I told her he was being transferred she went to get us some groceries for my mom and the boys AND she left a $50 gas card for us. Amazing...I am so thankful. My other friend stayed with the boys until 10:30 last night while I said bye to Shane which was so hard. My sister in law picked cody up from school yesterday and another friend watched Will during Shane's MRI and I dropped reece off at preschool . I'm SO thankful for everyone's help! Another friend brought fa meal for my mom and the boys tonight. And SO MANY people are praying for shane I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude!!!! And prayers are WORKING! 

As of this afternoon Shane is WALKING!!!! Thank you Jesus! His hand is still limp but he can now hold up two fingers!!! Last night he couldn't lift one finger!! Seems he is healing and I pray it continues!!!! ....BUT....the doctors here are pretty adamant about him getting another 2 hour MRI AND a spinal tap tomorrow. :( They are looking for an infection in his brain or spine and several other things that scare the crud out of me. He will be sedated for both so he will be under for about 4 hours (please pray for This!) They told us he could feel better now then Go downhill fast again so they need to know what's going on. They are also looking for auto immune diseases. 

I *believe they think it's something viral, an infection or something that could have perhaps been triggerd or related to the influenza flu he just had. 

I am confident that God is taking care of him and that He is answering the prayers of his people. I am so grateful because this has been a fast paced hard trial for us. He was fine one minuet the next going down hill. I know it's the weirdest thing. He's in good spirits and he is enjoying all the attention :) thank you a ok for the love and prayers please keep them coming. He will have an IV all night and tomorrow he cannot eat or drink anything. :( I desperately want to be home with all my

babies safe and sound.

I read this verse this morning in my devotions and I am claiming it for this. We don't rely on men or technology but on God!! 

 

Psalms 20:7 Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God.

Weight Vs Inches, Bye Scale!

Last week was good.

I weighed in on last Friday at 183! Then had a killer rollerblade workout on Saturday where I burned 1300+ calories

and the next day I was UP 2 pounds. WHAAAATTTTTTT?! 

I was frustrated. Angry. See!!! I can't get out of the 180's!!! Ugh! After that I was discouraged. We had family in town this weekend and then I've had sick kiddos all week. I could've stayed on track but I was just so down and annoyed w it all that I didn't try very hard. I've worked out once this week (Leg Day). I actually did weights in the weight room! Yay! Not so scary after all. 

WHY do I care so much about the scale? Seriously? Do I want to lose weight or lose fat and inches? Do I want to weigh 160 and be a size 10/12 like I was when I got married or be 160 and a size 6 like a lot of very fit ladies? The number doesn't matter, no one knows the number on the scale but everyone knows you're actual size because well, they can see you (me!). Plus, do I want to be strong, or do I want to be a lighter version of my flabby self? Ok we Can all see how stupid the scale is. Ok? Ok. If not here's some more motivation. 

A not for this one, I calculated my body fat percentage yesterday based on my measurements and weight and OMGOSH it's horrific! Even though I weigh 185 is it estimated my bf% is %44! That's awful!!!! That's changing now. 

So for now I'm gonna forego the scale. Maybe weigh once every two weeks. I'm gonna eat my macros as best as I can (recalculated for a little less food than a couple weeks ago so I won't have to stuff my face with canned tuna to meet macros). And I'll be weight lifting 4 days a week and running only 2 days a week. I love running/walking and even spin so it will be hard to limit my cardio but I only have so much time at the gym and uh, well cardio takes longer so cardio < weight lifting.